I once had this pain that seemed to radiate from my anus
This all happened when I was living in Stockholm and commuting each day to Sclarharkken, which wasn't as popular as it is now since they retarmaced the civic centre, or Sluithus as the locals call it. My bicycle had several extraneous gears, which never really became a problem but the presence of which gradually grew to be a heavy burden with that imminent shadow hanging over me like one of those khaki shade cloths that B&Q stock. It was at that time that I started seeing a local girl and together we would dream of a day in the future where we could sit and dream about planning to start a family. But it was just a dream. On top of this, I'd been recently promoted, with a targeted social media campaign and banner ads on various online caravan vendor sites, and was feeling like a horse owner whose horse had come a respectable third in a group two handicap. I'd stopped eating red meat or red vegetables, and my health was showing clear signs of improvement that were both quantifiable and measurable and could also be expressed in a graph. But the first snows of winter brought with them a warning that the weather was going to turn snowy, and like a fool I paid them no heed. It was just not in my nature to reimburse snow with heed. My girlfriend Joan Armatrading, though that wasn't her real name, had that look in her eyes that told me she was unhappy but was staying in the relationship mainly because of a desire to prove her mother wrong but also that she was looking forward to visiting Granada with me in the New Year as she'd always wanted to see the Alhambra and besides which I do make a nice carbonara which is rare among men. I told her not to worry, things would turn around, though I said this in fluent Swedish. She confessed her relationship fears to me, and I told her about my anus pain, and we let these strong emotions wash over us, leaving us clean and vibrantly hued to face the future together as one couple united in a shared sense of togetherness and unity.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:02, 6 replies)

A poignant account of opening one's heart through the healing power of butthurt.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:26, closed)

I'm not reading this shit
Could you please delete it?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:26, closed)

powerful stuff
do you have a publisher?
(sock puppet 94980 your personal details here, Mon 22 Sep 2014, 16:38, closed)

RIS?
I don't get it.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 22 Sep 2014, 18:41, closed)

Needs more CGI.

( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 9:48, closed)

Not ANOTHER fucking Star Wars story.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 23 Sep 2014, 12:30, closed)