I was quite sporty at school
Those of you who read these pages regularly may recall my earlier tales of the inter-tutor football and my subsequent dalliance with one of the players.

Following on from mine and Nicola's break up, I made a rather startling discovery. It wasn't her barely pubescent downy minge that got me going, it was the pain and humiliation I had felt every time I made my way down to the bike sheds to watch the pale buttocks of yet another of my school mates slamming against her while she moaned and gurned like a porn star having an epileptic fit.

I only discovered this the following week when I handed in my physics homework and was called up to the front by Mrs Turner. I remember her wearing a plain black shift dress that did nothing to flatter her flabby arse as it spilled over the sides of the wooden stool she was perched upon. I managed to tear my eyes away to look at the page of writing she was pointing at.

"Mr thegeordie, this is apalling!" Her voice boomed out across the suddenly quite room. I could feel the eyes of all my classmates boring into me and my cheeks started to redden. "Look! Geordieboys gonna cry!" piped up Jonny Deacon. I could tell he was just jealous as he'd never got a blowie off Nicola, but that didn't really make me feel much better at the time.

"Did you even read the questions?" Mrs Turners eyes flashed with anger "You clearly have no grasp of this subject at all. You'll stay behind today and redo this homework!"

The rest of the class started to giggle, I glanced up to see Jody Mulfinge whispering to Ellen Shrimpton while waving her little finger in the air. Behind them Richard Hawkes was making a vigorous "wanker" gesture with his right hand. A roaring sound was building up in my ears, and, in a surprise to me, a rush of blood appeared to be heading to my crotch. I tried to grab my exercise book, hoping to get back to my seat before anyone noticed what was happening in my groin, but Mrs Turner misinterpreted my clumsy lunge and flinched away, holding my book, causing me to overbalance.

With a horrific feeling of slow motion I toppled forward, my outstretched hands connecting perfectly with those monstrous fleshy orbs which, while they would have orginally sat just below her armpits, now rested closer to her navel. In a moment my attempt to hide my swelling groin had descended into a sub "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'em" farce. My now throbbing genitals decided to release themselves through the open fly of my boxers and strained against the thin fabric of my regulation issue black school trousers.

Mrs Turner yelped like a kicked puppy and sprawled backwards off her stool, as she crashed onto the floor, legs akimbo, her dress rode up to reveal a faded grey thong. Thick clumps of black hair were clearly visible around the front of the decaying lingerie before it was swallowed up by the stretch mark and cellulite ridden skin of her posterior.

I didn't know what was happening in my kecks but a sudden violent spasm of my crotch followed by a hot damp sensation on the front of my thighs soon told me I had just spontaneously shot my load in front of the whole class. I stood there, my face burning, eyes fixed on Mrs Turners face, who in turn was staring in horror at the spreading wet patch from the front of my trousers.

A guffaw of near hysterical laughter came from the back of the class "Geordie boys just blown his load in his pants!" Shouted Jonny Deacon with near ecstatic glee. "Look at 'im, what a fucking twat!". With that he launched a bunsen burner at me. It hit me right on the cock.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 8:31, 5 replies)

This is a masterpiece...

I haven't seen anything this perfectly written since Frankspencer.

What with your preferred passtime of fucking everybody off on OT, it's often easy to forget that you are a genius level poster on QotW.

More of this sort of thing!

*Clicks aplenty*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 26 Oct 2009, 9:49, closed)

A triumph.

( thealternativefact, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:23, closed)

To my annoyance
I liked it. You'd have got a click if you hadn't pimped it on OT - you know the rules, sonny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:30, closed)

The rules!?
There are no rules you cockwad!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 10:37, closed)

I shall
click on behalf of Monty! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:02, closed)