Curry shop smashup
I started my first ever job for a high street car insurance broker back one December in the mid-90's. I was told that they would be having their Christmas do at the local curry shop across the road. Fueled with the excited anticipation that all sorts of shennanigan's happened at company Christmas parties i was looking forward to a drunken rendezvous with Louise the data entry girl. After the main course had finished and several pints had been downed the MD stood up to give out various prizes for peoples achievements throughout the year. Just a load of tat really. I won the new boy award, which was some kind of misshapen teapot!

The boss then gave his last prize to Stephan..the office wideboy who sported an impressive mop of hair. Stephan opened the present to find a pair of scissors, to which the boss shouted "You've won the cut your fucking hair award", to which he impressively jumped across the table, grabbed the scissors and started chopping into Stephans locks.

Well, fuck me, every grudge that had built up through the year was let out as 15 people started beating the crap out of each other. At one point a full pint of larger went whizzing past my face and smashed into a picture on the wall. It was like something out of one of those wild west bar fights!

Louise ran past me crying and i left following her hoping for a comfort shag which alas never materialised.

The best bit was the next day where we all watched the MD walk sheepishly back to the restaurant with brown envelope full of cash in an attempt to not get them to press charges!

Christmas parties have all been downhill since then!
(wozza_c, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 13:38, 9 replies)

I hope this is true
I laughed and clicked.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 13:58, closed)

^ this

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 14:36, closed)

^ What fat Brenda said ^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 14:51, closed)

What he said
Funniest story yet
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 20:50, closed)

what they all said

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 20 Mar 2013, 18:07, closed)

Larger....
???
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 16:04, closed)

That's Bristolian
for lager, see also Darlek etc.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 20:51, closed)

Do you still have the teapot?
(Rampant_Hedgehog He's horny and prickly!, Sun 17 Mar 2013, 12:40, closed)

!
I was just told that some project had failed and it was my fault, and I laughed out loud because this story just popped into my head.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 19 Mar 2013, 17:03, closed)