Can't Remember the title...
The best movie ever was the one where there were these three kids, about twelve years old, and they were all going on an adventure, and they were getting ready to go and the one kid (he had glasses) says 'Boyo! What fun we'll have on our adventure!' and then he falls over because he has been poisoned with a bad cheese sandwich, so the other two pick him up and quickly put him in the back of the car and one of the kid's dad drives them to the campground which is really a launchpad, because hidden behind the bushes is the spaceship they built out of old washing machine parts and a television set.

So even though the kid with glasses is sick, they take off and discover there is an alien on board, who got stranded by his spaceship whilst he was looking for plutonium and still water, and so now there were four people on the spaceship and because it was built for three, the ship fell back to earth and crashed in the Pacific Ocean, and they paddled the remains of their spaceship to a nearby volcano island where there were hundreds of cows who could only speak French, so the alien took out his translator pod and converted everything the cows said to English.

It turned out the cows were all being held prisoners by and evil Wizard who insisted everyone who didn't hop on one foot forever would be turned into cows that could only speak French, but the Wizard had died, so the cows were stranded on this volcano island, and cows have no opposable thumbs so they couldn't use the phone to call for help, so they tried to get the boys to call for help but they only had Canadian Loonies, so they decided to break into the shopping mall (because it was closed) and they robbed the WalMart and built a Ford GT40 out of barbeque grills, salad and paracetamol.

They were too young to buy petrol, so they just poured in apple juice and they drove the GT40 and when it hit 88 mph, the tires caught fire and they were transported to a world where there were lots of cyborgs battling each other, saying 'I come in peace', and then they'd blow each other up.

The one cow that came along (not much room in a GT40) was shot, so the vet came, and he was played by the guy who did Father Ted, and he blessed the cow, and then the cow fell over and he turned out to be made of jelly beans, so they ate the cow.

Just then, Han Solo came on the back of a Taun-Taun, and chastised them all for not killing the cow in a Halal fashion. The kid with glasses was feeling better, so he told Han to bugger off, so Han left, but he left the Taun-Taun, so the boys climbed on and struck off to find where the armoury was, because they knew they’d need firepower in order to escape the island, and they found a prison where everyone had been cut up with laser guns, so there were a few shotguns and smoke bombs just lying there, so they picked them up and then taught each other Kung Fu, so they trekked across the desert until they got to the dragon’s lair, and they confronted the dragon and it turned out the dragon was a monk who was just trying to learn the meaning of life, so they started singing that song about trees and mountains and sheep.

Then the guy from Lord of the Rings came out, what’s-his-name, Dumbledore, and he does some dancing, and then this guy jumps out of the bushes and points a spear at them, and tells them they are all under arrest so they run for their lives, and the guy with the spear turns out to be an army, and there’s like a hundred of them, but they get to the edge of the city, where the canal is, and they jump on the boat, and blow into the sails, and they escape just in time!

The boys then find that the washing machine spaceship needs some adjustments to it’s defibrillator, so the kid with glasses turns the knob on the front of the television, and they take off, and fly back to the campsite, and they get there way back home, and the kid’s dad is like ‘What are you doing here? You’ve only been gone an hour!’ and it turns out they were only gone for an hour, so they look at each other and laugh.

Gosh, what a great movie that was.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 15:54, 7 replies)

Yes!
And Yes! again...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 15:58, closed)

Hmmmm
I can't remember the title either but I'm sure I saw it on Sky last weekend :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 16:16, closed)

I've read the book.
It's better than the film...
( Moey, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 16:29, closed)

Sounds like
a Terry Gilliam film.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 16:30, closed)

...
I loved that bit when the chicken army invaded the rotisserie spaceship and made all the alien kebab shop owners grill their own testicles.

Haven't seen that film in yonks.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 18:16, closed)

@MM
I don't think that part was in the cinema release - did you watch the extended version on DVD?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 9:12, closed)

Actually...
I think you'll find this is the Scientologists' creation story.
( Pretender, Sat 19 Jul 2008, 18:50, closed)