Religious clean freak
I work with a guy who loves to clean. He is quite happy to stay an extra half hour a day to scrub anything he can get his hands on. To the rest of us he is just plain stupid, I mean admittedly he has no girlfriend and lives alone, has few friends and spends his day off cleaning his mums car. But staying at work ....unpaid? To fuckin CLEAN!!!!!

It is obvious to us that his favourite item to clean is the industrial dishwasher (any psych students let me know the relevence of a clean freak cleaning a cleaning machine pls) so of course we get it really dirty just to annoy him, he had a week off recently and the dishwasher was fed a few extra items, 4 litres of used cooking oil, a kilo of breadcrumbs, various fruits of old age, 200g pine nuts, a bag of porridge and 2 bottles of fairy liquid an hour before he came back. He rolled into work after a week spent cleaning windows and went straight to his beloved dishwasher. Suffice to say he was appalled at what he found, I believe he was close to tears. After he turned it on the extra fairy kicked in and made enough mess to keep him quiet for several hours.

We later found out that his church have installed a similar machine, he is now revered at his church for being able to show them how to take it all apart and clean it. The rest of us are attempting to hatch a plan to sabotage the church dishwaher.

I guess you have worked out that we don't do much real work
(Orinoco's Oboe, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 21:04, 13 replies)

That's just evil

(mmm....beer, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 21:21, closed)

You fed it pine nuts?
Do you have any idea how much they fucking cost?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 30 Mar 2010, 21:35, closed)

Nope!!! They were just in easy reach. Though I do wonder why cashews are so expensive?
(Orinoco's Oboe, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 21:53, closed)

Pine nuts
make cashews look free!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 30 Mar 2010, 22:10, closed)

that is true
considering that probably everywhere between latitude 55N and 75N is nothing but fir trees, a good percentage of which will be pines.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 22:52, closed)

Sooo......pine nuts might be plentiful.......but difficult to harvest? Where is Stephen Fry when you need him?
(Orinoco's Oboe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 9:10, closed)

they're not that expensive here
Mrs E.

But then again, people eat them with fucking EVERYTHING - desserts, main courses, as a snack. It's ridiculous.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 9:58, closed)

you are a wanker
AICMFP
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 9:57, closed)

Thirded
You're a cunt. Leave him alone, he's so far gone he doesn't know the way back.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Wed 31 Mar 2010, 11:40, closed)

I think that's a bit strong, it was a one off.......pls consider the fact that the rest of us also have to look after the workplace as well, and if u really think we are goin to do his other dishwasher in then you missed the joke, nobody has that much free time that they would do something so pointless.
(Orinoco's Oboe, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 10:44, closed)

Fourthed. Forthed?
I agree, he seems harmless. You and your workmates are twats.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 15:18, closed)

Ok ok I get the point!!! Cyber Coventry here I come, sorry
(Orinoco's Oboe, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 10:47, closed)

Fifthed.

( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 16:17, closed)