November 5th 199x
One fine day I decided to make my own fireworks for November 5th and, using my limited knowledge of physics and chemistry, I hit on the following method.

I filled an old plastic bathtub full of water and put in an anode and a cathode and then ran a DC current through the bugger. As predicted, I got a stream of oxygen bubbles from one end and hydrogen bubbles from the other. I collected the hydrogen into bin bags and, as they filled up, sealed them and tied them to a handy fence post. After a few hours work I had 25 of the fuckers bobbing prettily in the breeze.

I'd already prepared the fuses. I'd made a potassium nitrate solution, soaked a load of twisted lengths of toilet paper in it and dried my fuses off in the airing cupboard. Then I tied the fuses, about 10 foot to a fuse, to the bottom of each hydrogen filled bin bag. Phase one complete.

Then I had a couple of beers with my mates and waited for dark to fall. After a few more beers 7pm rolled round and I was ready to setoff my fireworks. I'd reckoned that once I lit the fuses and released the bin bags, they'd float up a couple of hundred feet and then explode with pretty flames and big bangs.

Wrong.

I lit the fuses and let the bin bags loose as planned but then things started to go awry. Instead of gently floating up to the desired altitude and exploding these bloody things shot up at an incredible speed. Far too fast. After a short time they disappeared from view and continued their rapid ascent - straight into the flight path of Manchester Airport where they exploded with a drawn out series of enormous bangs and huge fireballs. Bugger.

The next day, the newspapers had this harrowing tale told by a shaking pilot who described how he'd been gently descending on his glide path when, all of a sudden, these fireballs started exploding all around him. He said it was like being back in the Korean War and flying through enemy flak.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 8 Nov 2005, 16:13, Reply)