This one goes both ways.
Ever get fed up with someone else's offspring making noise? Ever get fed up of people complaining about your offspring making noise?
Well how about some of you fuckers finding a middle ground?
So, if you're of the 'waaah, someone's child was present in the same square kilometer of my sainted existence, my life is ruined!', then perhaps do a little more observation and thinking. If the parent is making a clear effort to try and abate the noise, then cut them some slack, eh? You intolerent fuck.
Conversely, if your child is making a lot of noise and you're doing nothing about it, then at least make the fucking effort. The number of people I see leaving a crying baby in a pram while they witter on the phone about some inconsequential nonsense or chat with their friends makes my piss boil. Pick the fucking thing up and at least try to calm it down.

On that note, the person who wrote that ucking book where you run a baby to a strict schedule, regardless of what it actually needs at any given time, needs remodelling with a crowbar. "Oh, I can't give her a feed as my book says that she's not allowed for another twenty minutes." Don't be a fucking moron.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 5 Mar 2012, 21:55, 15 replies)

This kind of reasoned thinking has no place here.
Kindly desist with immediate effect.
And have a click whilst you're at it ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 22:08, closed)

Down with this sort of rational thing!

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 22:34, closed)

What is the "middle ground" of which you speak?
I'd pay extra to eat at a restaurant that doesn't allow kids in it.
I'd tip well just to sit near the entrance and listen to parents whine about discrimination as they are refused entry.

I'd pay double to dine happily as I watch them struggle through the door with their gigantic off-road buggy, unpack the sprog, stumble and curse and drop all their bags, changing mats and medical kits, as they valiantly declare their dying wish for a table- only to watch their faces fall in disbelief as they are turned away.

I also be a lot more tolerant if more people TOOK THE BABY AWAY when they couldn't calm it, but this is an event as rare as a pound of Baby Tartare on a bed of leafy greens.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 22:55, closed)

Restaurants are another matter.
I was thinking more public transport, airliners, etc.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 5 Mar 2012, 23:34, closed)

Oh yeah, public transport...
fair enough then, as you were.
Even I wouldn't insist on a parent taking their baby out onto the wing while I was eating my cardboard in flight chicken.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 0:45, closed)

Heh heh!
A baby screaming would make airline food better by its sheer distractive power.
I remember sitting next to this poor woman who was clearly at her wits' end with a small baby (as in too young to communicate with in any way other than 'HERE'S YOUR FUCKING BOTTLE YOU SCREAMING SOD' and the comments she was getting made me want to smack the old fuck behind us right in the face.
Mrs Boris is till grateful to this day that when her and the kids came out to Australia, they were perfectly behaved on the flight. Yet to see if they do the same when we move back...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 6 Mar 2012, 6:31, closed)

Only yesterday
My flight was only 3/4 full, and just before takeoff a couple let their 10-year-old-ish son move from the other side of the plane to empty seats just behind me.

As the flight attendent came round to check seatbelts, she noticed he was alone and asked who his parent were as he needed to be near them at takeoff.

The parent's response?

"He snores when he's asleep, so we didn't want him near us".
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 7:37, closed)

I'd pay extra to see that.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 8:47, closed)

You lilly livered wuss.
Pick a side and stick to your guns in the face of even the most reasoned point of argument.

Personally, I'd even go as far as putting the play areas in McDonald's out the back, somewhere between the bins and delivery bay, preferably so you have to cross the delivery bay entrance to get to them. Blindfolded with ear mufflers on.

That sort of thing.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 8:54, closed)

I'm one of those people that doesn't think other people's fashion statements should impinge on my existence
And as such, I'm intolerant of it.

I don't expect anyone else to listen to my music, so I shouldn't have to listen to your child. Silence it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 11:37, closed)

Ah, what it must be like
to go through life as an angry man.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 6 Mar 2012, 11:53, closed)

Oh to give up and simply accept one's lot.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 12:02, closed)

Ah, what it must be like
to go through life as a condescending arse.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 12:05, closed)

Would that be a prolapse?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 12:59, closed)

Hahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 13:07, closed)