On giving up, and the blessings it can bring
I can sympathise with a lot of people with this current question, in fact I can empathise as well, which as anyone who knows me will attest, is not a skill which comes to me naturally.

As a lot of these posts will say, we all tried our best to fit in when we were younger. I was no different. I tried the clothes, I tried hanging round at night with the teenage gangs (yet ended up being the butt of their jokes), I tried hanging round with the geeks, but they just annoyed me. I even tried hanging round with the Christians for a while, and whilst they were an odd bunch, they were very accepting. Unfortunately try as I might I couldn't share their views, and so moved on. Suffice to say I was pretty much a loner and only a select few understood my personality- let alone got on with me.

But somehow, I survived and to a certain extent, thrived, when I suddenly realised one day I was trying to be a person that everyone else wanted me to be, which was probably the reason I was such an angry young man. I used to have quite the temper when I was younger, and I still carry that with me now. Many is the time you can see me in my office, confronted with yet another idiot on the other end of the phone, trying to keep my voice on a level and even tone, and trying not to crush the mouse with one hand. But, moving on, as things often do.

My realisation hit me when I got into sixth form- what is the bloody point? I was trying to be all things to all people, pulled in many different directions at once, and finding nothing in any of them. Pretty much as soon as I stopped trying to be with the 'in' crowd, as soon as I just relaxed and decided just to let my personality develop as it should, rather than trying to mould myself into someone else's ideal, that I became a much more relaxed person, and much better for it.

I'm still a bit of an oddball, but instead of viewing it as a problem, I revel in the status. It's much more fun being me than going with the crowd. And it can save money as well. As a result I seem to have more true friends as well, instead of people who would use me as a target for their own insecurities. I will sign off with something of a disclaimer though. I am not perfect, I still have times when I find myself wanting to fit in more, but who doesn't?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 15 Jan 2009, 16:32, 1 reply)

Good on ya man!
* clicks *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Jan 2009, 0:59, closed)