Even sadder than kids trying to fit in at school
is teachers doing it.

I won't name the guy (but you're a fat, Scottish maths teacher nicknamed "Scooby Doo", this one's for you...), but we had to put up with one of our teachers pathetically trying to be 'one of the lads', for reasons best known to himself.

Specifically, a small group of us were into rock and metal music, leaving Kerrang and Terrorizer lying around the 6th for common room, and Scooby decided that he liked metal music too. It was becoming painfully clear that all his "knowledge" came from the aforementioned copies of Kerrang - anyone who reads that rag knows that the bands they cover are entirely dictated by hype rather than whether the bands in question are any good.

This, obviously, was quite irritating, so we took it to its next logical and entertaining step: making bands up and entertaining ourselves by asking his opinion of them - to his credit his bullshit skills were impressive:

"Hello sir, have you heard the new Skullcrusher album?"
"Yes, yes I have."
"What did you make of it?"
"Well, I know that kind of music isn't for everyone, but I thought it was pretty good. I liked the first track."
"'Bleeding for Jesus'?"
"That's the one. Really aggressive."
"But that one's a slow instumental."
"Oh yeah, that's right. I meant the second track."
"Oh, right, 'Corpse Parade'. The one with the guitar solo."
"Yeah, that's it, wicked guitar solo."
"I thought the guitar solo sucked."
"Well, maybe you don't have my taste for good guitar playing."
"Are you sure? He made it by vomiting on his guitar and attacking it with a circular saw."
"Yes, well maybe you kids are too young to remember some of the more avant-garde stuff - he's referencing Jimi Hendrix."
"Actually, sir, there's no such band as Skullcrusher. We made them up."
"Yes there is."
"Really, there isn't."
"I've heard of them, even if you haven't"...

Pathetic. Get some friends your own age.
(Axeman Jim, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 15:21, 5 replies)

!!!!!
I thought everyone had heard of skullcrusher.

www.myspace.com/skullcrusher
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 16:12, closed)

Not
in 1997...

Think of a stupid heavy metal band name and someone will use it sooner or later.
(Axeman Jim, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 16:26, closed)

like
Foetal Rape?
(mark schmark, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 17:05, closed)

*registers website*
Who wants to join my band?
( djtrialprice, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 20:07, closed)

Goddamn you!
Beat me to it!
(Lex scripta, Mon 19 Jan 2009, 18:55, closed)