TRUE STORY
A wealthy man was killed in an accident and his face was badly
disfigured. The funeral director telephoned the widow and asked if she
had a frontal picture of him showing his face. She said yes and that
she would have it ready for him if he could stop at her home to get it.
When he arrived at her home, she was badly broken up crying her eyes out
and when he asked her for the picture, she said that it was 'over there
on the mantle'. He went and got it and told her that he would telephone
her to let her know when she could come down to the funeral home for the
viewing. Because they were quite wealthy, the funeral director called
in a cosmetologist to do an extra special job on the husband. After
awhile, the funeral director telephoned the widow and said, "Mrs. Brown,
you can come now and view your husband.' When she entered the reposing
room, she let out a shriek amid much sobbing. This was to be expected as
they had been a close-knit couple. The only unusual thing is that she
did NOT let up after a little while and the funeral director approached
her and said that HE thought that her husband looked perfect and that
he'd even called in the cosmetologist to make sure that it would be an
extra-special job and that he thought that her husband looked exactly
like the picture. The poor grieving lady turned to him and said, "Yes,
but you put my first husband's face on my second husband!!!
(DigbyOBare, Tue 23 May 2006, 15:23, Reply)

Cant believe
that no-ones went for disco inferno or that ben folds five tune, going underground. surely begging to get played at funerals up and down the land!

as for myself, as the coffin dissapears behind the curtain, the last sight people will ever get of me the tune I want? signal by dj fresh.

if you dont know the tune it sounds like a dyson raping a spectrum zx and knowing my lot there will be shocking aplenty and dancing around zimmer frames- if i make it that long!
(luckymcdanger, Thu 18 May 2006, 15:11, Reply)

One of my colleagues
her husband was buried a few weeks ago. Cancer got 'im. The only song played at his funeral was "How Deep Is Your Love" by the Bee Gees. The obvious and irresistable answer of "about six feet" was the one given.
( Noit HAIRY SHITTY DOGFUCK, Thu 18 May 2006, 15:05, Reply)

Off topic but... Hulk Rules!!!!!
I am having the song “Hulkster in Heaven” from his one time album Hulk Rules played at my funeral.

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of listing to this song it is an epic, souring, heart wrenching tale of a fan who died and one of the Hulk Hogan’s matches, it is so sad and heartfelt I burst into tears every time I listen to it!

Lyrics like "I used to tear my shirt, but now you tore my heart!" and “I wish Hulks love could bring me back again" are too simply too beautiful for words… well almost.

Listen to this album everyone, you may gain a new perspective on life and death.

Think I am joking?

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000008PE1/qid=1147961181/sr=8-4/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl/026-3642892-5240404

x
(Minty Hit, Thu 18 May 2006, 15:04, Reply)

Homage to quentin,
My Gran died a couple of years back, and to be honest nothing will fill the void she's left.

On the day of the funeral i managed to hold it together quite well, bearing in mind that i was also entrusted to be a pallbearer. The ceremony went well and the wake afterward was occupied by people who we genuinely wanted there. All in all, pleasant...as funerals go.

Later in the day it was time for my parents to leave to reurn to Bristol. As soon as the car went out of sight i ordered my housemate to come to the pub with me and seeing as he knew full and well i was losing grip of the whole 'being strong' thing he duly obliged.

Walking to the pub we encoutered some street urchins....one of whom came out with the oh-so-origonal phrase; "Why the fuck do you look like one of them dicks from Resevior Dogs?"

Before i could even think of retaliating my mate leapt forward and hit the guy with such force it knocked his two front teeth right out. Blood everywhere...spectacular stuff.

My mate then shouts at the top of his voice..."BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAGGOT" (if you haven't seen the film, you'll get nothing from this).

It actually makes no sense as a conversation, but god damn did it brighten my day. And i'm glad i was with someone who knows me so well because put it this way, in the state i was in that day, i would have killed the Burburry clad mong. Now i just chuckle at the sight of my 5ft nothing mate leaping to my 6ft3 rescue!
(The Pollitt is still having naughty thoughts about your mum on, Thu 18 May 2006, 14:49, Reply)

er, OK, bandwagon it is then
Quick, before the QOTW changes! Ummm... I'd like "At Seventeen" played at my funeral, because I'm a self-pitying adolescent wanker. Or AC/DC's "Big Balls".
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 18 May 2006, 14:48, Reply)

At mine
At my funeral I want the old BBC cricket theme played (Soul Limbo by Booker Ts) - no other reason than I just do and it's as random a post here as the rest of them.

/ahem
(james_tiger_woods is here, I promise on, Thu 18 May 2006, 14:41, Reply)

Don't fear the Reaper!
Years ago a friend of mine was asked to tape The Beatles 'All You Need Is Love' for his uncles funeral music. Many a tear fell as the lovely song brought back memories of the deceased. It was all rather touching until nobody pressed the stop button as the song faded out and the sounds of The Jesus and Mary Chain's 'Never Understand' suddenly blasted out from the previously used cassette and panic set in as everyone tried to switch it off.

Still - you've got to laugh haven't you?
(DrTugnut, Thu 18 May 2006, 14:15, Reply)

In the Metro
I read that something like 1 in 4 Germans wants "Highway to Hell" played at their funeral.

Probably made up 'fact' but I like it.
(Wascally Weasel Is being nibbled to death by cats, Thu 18 May 2006, 14:13, Reply)