Intercept that, you twat.
Don't think this would work these days but sometime in the mid-90s a friend of mine was getting abusive phone calls from the family of her ex-husband. She knew who it was but couldn't prove it. (This is house phone, pre-mobileocene period).

I went to hers late one night and found her in tears - apparently they'd been at it again and she'd reached breaking point. Just then the phone rang. 'It's them', she said. 'I know it is.'

So on the spur of the moment I picked up the phone and in the most laconic, bored, Sarf London accent I could manage, said 'Hello, BT Interceptor. I have your details here - what number are you calling?'

It's amazing how silence over a phone can be so evocative. It was as if the wanker on the other end had stopped even breathing. Then there was a click.

I thought they'd probably try again - and they did. Twice. That was all, though - she never heard from them again. Result.

Would loved to have been a fly on that particular wall when I first answered the phone, though.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 13:29, 13 replies)

Genius.
Although, it'd have been funny if you said "Jensen Interceptor".
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 13:33, closed)

A few years later I could have said 'Jensen Button Interceptor'

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 13:51, closed)

I asked the guy at the garage if he'd fit my car with a jensen button in the middle of the steering wheel...
He looked at me like I'm a massive twat. Which I am.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 14:29, closed)

You shoud have told him it gave you the horn.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 14:45, closed)

wink wink.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 21 Apr 2015, 15:50, closed)

No, that's the indicator.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 16:11, closed)

In that it indicates he's a bummer?

(McChinaman banned, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 18:07, closed)

Exhausted now.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 19:44, closed)

A real operator
a "friend" worked as an operator and the real stuff they used to get up to was much worse.

Gave abuse to one of the girls during the day! Well they'd take your number and hand it to the night staff. There were less managers about at night so more fun could be had.
Night stuff would ringing up one nuisance caller and patching them into another cunt so it looked like they called each other.

Overriding a call and making ghost sounds in the background was fun. the person would often ring up and ask the speak to an engineer. patch to not an engineer and layoff for a month.

We also did nice things. There was a lonely old women who would ring up and talk to you all day if she could, we'd transfer her call about the centre and keep her amused. She was mental.
(waxdart hello., Tue 21 Apr 2015, 16:57, closed)

Still going out with her?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 21 Apr 2015, 19:06, closed)

fewer

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 21:06, closed)

*golfclap*

(McChinaman banned, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 21:18, closed)

I like the way 'a friend' turns to 'we'
It's OK, this is b3ta - you can tell us anything. Your secrets are safe with us...
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 22 Apr 2015, 8:34, closed)