I never really asked, he never really asked that question
Yet here we are, 2.5 years later and informally engaged. It's a very chilled relationship :P
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:42, Reply)

Now taking bets...
...on how many of these are going to involve copious amounts of alcohol or drugs.

I'll take any bet! Best odds around!
( El Lazarus is calm now, Ish,, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:36, 1 reply)

Being Mrs Robinson isn't all it's cracked up to be.
It must be said that I have dated quite a few toy-boys in the past. While much fun and sexetime was there to be had I did feel a little perturbed at some of their ways of wooing me.

Case 1. He tried to impress me with the fact his trainers cost £100. (This was 10 years ago when £100 was a lot of money).

Case 2. He had candles all over his bedroom when he took me home for our first time together, amongst his posters of naked women and pop groups. I'm still surprised his mum didn't hear us as we came in so late at night.

These are the worst examples and why I decided at the ripe old age of 35 to start dating guys who remembered life before mobile phones.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:34, 3 replies)

Already posted my answer to this one, so have a link...
www.b3ta.com/questions/meettheparents/post31861
(beemoh, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:29, Reply)

Why im not allowed out in public
Quite simple really, after a bit of dutch courage before and during that fateful schoolday I went up to the girl of my dreams and said "Go out with me, its the right thing to do." It got me nowhere, and it got me there damn fast. (not quite true, i did move an inch or so backwards after she slapped me)
So, my advice for asking out the potential love of your life? If it worked on scrubs, dont even think about it.
( UseAName Because you cant get the bends if you muff dive., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:18, Reply)

she's now my ex after 3 and a half years
first time i met her, i got her phone number from a friend. texted her later that night, saying...

GO AND TAKE YER FACE FOR A SHITE.

she was smitten.
(bl33dingsaint how's your father?, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:07, 1 reply)

It's a long story...
I was studying abroad in his country, a country which is FULL of stunning women, whose only wishes are to marry young and then fulfill every wish of their man until they die. No, really, czech women are doormats.


We met in a wine cellar, both pissed, both single, and we chatted all night. 8 months later, at a party in a friend's grandmother's garden (don't ask), I saw a man walking up the hill towards us, and felt, I don't know what - a jolt, something telling me that this man was important, that one day he and I would marry. So we spent another day chatting, chatting, gazing adoringly at eachother.


Then I had to go back to the UK. I had his email address, he had mine, and I had a degree to finish. I threw myself into my work, and when I did think about anything other than parasites, it was him. We emailed occasionally, with our emails getting longer and longer, and then he decided to come and visit me, as he'd never been to the UK.


The day he arrived in Glasgow, I was shaking so much with nerves, I had to get my mother to drive me to the airport to collect him. He came back to our house, mum talked at him, whilst he and I just stared across the table at eachother, until my parents went to bed. Then we said goodnight, and went to our separate rooms.

The following day, I took him and a friend up to the Isle of Skye (beautiful island for any b3tans who haven't been there!)


We finally got to Skye (after a 12 hour journey, god only knows how), and went straight to the pub, where we drank our body weight in Talisker single malt. Then he kissed me, and since then, 4 years, 2 months, and 15 days ago, we have been together. He moved to London to live with me whilst I was studying there, supported me during my PhD, and during the associated mental breakdown. He's as near to perfect a man as I think I ever want to find.


So why the fuck have I moved to america?!



Anyway, the answer to the question is:

we drank a lot, then kissed.
( ascorbate, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 20:02, Reply)

when...
I met my current of about 5 months now (long term for me)
we met at a party both very pissed, got off with the same guy and i slept with her best friend
then went out with another girl for a few weeks before asking her out

yes im a dick but she´s has done the unimaginable and made me a half decent bloke

length? long enough to make her still want to be with me after i had her best friend
(kristofski6992, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:49, Reply)

Repost
Last night was the pinnacle to a long list of reasons why I should never, ever bring boys over to my house.

Thank goodness My Big Move is occurring in a week, otherwise I'd be doomed to be single and lonely for, like, ever.

So, really, it began almost two years ago when I got an inconvenient crush on a boy. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I could not do anything about my crush, clearly. Said boyfriend and I traveled abroad the next semester to London, then called it quits at the end of our four months in the UK. The whole time, I'd been thinking of that boycrush back home, so I was looking forward to returning to see what came of it. Unfortunately, he'd acquired a girl of his own while I was gone. For the rest of the next school year, I pined silently and over analyzed every word that came out of his mouth. Was he roped into an unhappy relationship when he really wanted to be with me all along? I was, perhaps, slightly obsessed. Then, happy day, they broke up. Then school ended and it was time for us to all graduate. I figured that this was my moment - this was my time to finally fess up to my feelings, since there was nothing standing in the way. I wrote him a letter, sent it to his house, the received a message on Facebook saying that he didn't want to ruin our friendship and, if we hadn't been friends for so long, things may have been different. I was crushed and frustrated, since I'd spent so long uselessly pining.

Now, summer has passed and I've had a fling here and there, which has been fine. But, I've also been talking a lot with said boy and we've really opened up to each other. A part of me was beginning to hope again! Also, every time I've seen him in the last two months, he has been very flirtatious. Hope, hope indeed. Then, last weekend, he called me and said he desperately needed my help to go shopping. He couldn't do it alone because he just wasn't sure to tell how things fit. Boys are just incapable like that.

Last night, we went and it was fine. Flirtation continued. Pondered trying on a sexy dress for "his opinion", but unshaven legs and a terrible farm tan (dark, dark face and arms - white legs and back) deterred me.

On the ride home, I invited him to come in for dinner, since my mom had been bragging about some waffles she'd been planning on making. Waffles it was, and they were, indeed, delicious. After dinner, we were sitting around the table talking and I decided to tell my mom that she should stop buying this weird yogurt that has fiber in it because it gives me the bloat and perhaps a bit of the runs. I said it in more polite and subtle words; perhaps just "Because it makes my stomach feel gross"

Then, crazy mother decides to look said boycrush in the eye, all serious like, and declare:

"Yea, Julia had a major blowout this morning."

Cue me shielding my face from the horrible world and my mom making it worse and worse by saying "Just kidding, it's not true. *pause, pause, pause* Ok, it is true." Then laughing hysterically for like 20 minutes while I laughed a little too, to play along, but turned a million shades of red. Boycrush laughed a bit as well, but I honestly don't know how much, since I was having a secret mental breakdown due to shame.

Last night, the boycrush was not online at all. Did not get to broach the subject and apologize. Today, he was on - and I sent a little message, trying to keep the tone light and humorous - "Oh, sorry about last night. Don't worry, I scolded my mom with beatings and verbal abuse." Then the boycrush immediately logged off after I sent it. Upon further investigation, I have discovered that he was just "invisible" - you can tell when people do that fake log off on aim, because if you click on their screen name, their profile still shows up.

Complete avoidance. Hope obliterated. Mother in the daughter dog house. I cannot wait to move.


PS: I am not exaggerating in my conclusion that my mom has caused radio silence. In January, I brought a date home and crazy mother decided to pounce on him and demand that he see pictures of this skunk that she accidentally caught in a trap because she'd been trying to catch a ground hog instead. That particular gentleman never called me back after that. He probably figured craziness runs in the family and he had better not get started with me.

I promise you, craziness like this is not hereditary. It's fucking terrible on the victimized daughter's lovelife though
(juliajuliajulia, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:47, 3 replies)

I once met the man of my dreams *sighs*
And do you know how he reeled me in?

His resume.....


Dishes I can cook expertly:
-marinated chicken shish kebabs
-chicken cacciatore
-eggs benedict
-stuffed breads (sausage bread, spinach bread, etc.)

I can cook just about anything else you care to name, or make a reasonably close imitation.

Other domestic talents:
-laundry
-dishes
-sweeping/mopping/vacuuming
-keep a clean bathroom
-keep a very clean kitchen

More "masculine" abilities:
-change my car's oil
-do most minor work on my car
-can use power tools to build things and have them come out right, without injuring self
-can use chainsaws, winches etc
-know how to properly use an axe
-know how to split firewood properly (this does not involve an axe, it involves a splitting maul)
-can identify most trees and know a lot about them
-can identify many animals and birds and know a lot about them

Sensual talents:
-can give a good massage
-can go down on a woman and make sure she orgasms
-know how to use various "toys"
-know how to properly use ropes (without causing injury or discomfort)
-know how to be a dominant (I use "safe words" and keep a close eye on my sub for signs of something going wrong)
-know how to be a submissive (switching sides can be fun)
-know how to give anal without causing pain and injury
-love to snuggle close after
-can cook an excellent breakfast the next morning

How's that for a start?


I don't know why more guys don't do it.


Edit - I nearly forgot....he also made an astonishingly good cup of tea.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:42, 13 replies)

Denied.
Usually with a pitying little dismissive laugh, that echoes in my ear as:
"oh you funny, little, silly fool!"

Actually all my previous flames have pursued me until I have been cornered and have no option other than to suggest going out for a drink. I practically get bullied into a relationship that I really never wanted, and don't know what to do with once I'm there.*

I'm a 34 year old man.

* including one marriage
(Rich T has a clever and witty sig, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:37, 1 reply)

Hmmm
When my husband broke up with me, and espcecially after my mum died, a long time friend was there for me as I was for him when his wife passed away.
I don't know how it happened, to be honest, we'd go out for dinner or fishing to try and cheer me up and we realised our relationship was changing from friendship to something deeper. So we got drunk one night and well, now we're definitely together.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:31, 1 reply)

First time I went out with Mrs Rim
We were out on the town drinking all day. By 8pm she was scrabbling about on the floor in the local KFC chasing a bit of chicken and wiping her hands on my really expensive trousers. We bundled her through the door of the local rock club (she couldn't walk straight) with which the bouncer responded with a cheery "Oh, hello Mrs Rim"

I started going out with her the day afterwards.

Second time was a new years day. She had been around the night before, and I was in so much pain through the drink I could see through time. My mate (who knew her) rang me up and asked me if I fancied a pint at the club (she was there). Cue an all day session, and I asked her out again that night.

I can still remember the shakes I endured on the 2nd Jan clearly. Not good at all.

We've been married for over 2 years now..........
(Rimfeast, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:29, Reply)

Not me but a friend, as always
had the world winning chat up line of 'show me your cunt'.

Worked about one time in three.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:28, 3 replies)

Current flame???
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Sorry.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:27, 1 reply)

I clicked on the link, gave my credit card details
and she did her webcam show for me.

as my ex-wife and mother of my daughter knows about the interwebs I'm going to plead the 5th amendment about anything real.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:25, Reply)

We met up in Dartmoor after meeting on b3ta
I think he was in love with me at first sight. Nobody would normally find somebody attractive wearing a parka, baggy jeans and hair all over after 9 hours travelling.

There is a man who utterly loves me. He keeps asking me out, even though he knows my fella. I keep letting him down by arranging a date, not turning up and ignoring his phone calls.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:23, 3 replies)

I went over to his
and then all my clothes fell off.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:22, 8 replies)

I always find that punching below your weight helps.
To be honest most of my relationships started by accident.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:19, 3 replies)

It was a long time ago
but I seem to recall that my beloved's choice of romantic words was,

"Fancy helping me to babysit my little brother?"

Which was of course code for,

"Fancy spending the evening snogging on the couch and fighting off my wandering hands after I've sent my brother to bed ridiculously early?"

How could a girl resist an offer like that?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:18, Reply)

It wasn't difficult.
I gave her that look and she got all wet.

*snerk*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:17, 3 replies)

Spaghetti pizza
There is, believe it or not, such a thing. It's a pizza, with spaghetti on it (and bolognaise sauce).

Chatting, as you do, to the nice girl in the office who I fancied, we got onto the subject. I expressed my disbelief that anyone would put spaghetti on pizza, and, if they did, would then sell it to the public.

"You could come to my house after work and I'll order one..."

Length? 15 months now

In case you're wondering, spaghetti pizza is rather nice, although it's somewhat hard to keep the topping from sliding off the base
Hello, if you're reading this. xx
( le brian, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:16, 3 replies)

6th
minge-lips!
(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:15, Reply)

ooh accidental 5th

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:15, Reply)

2nd?
Bugger!
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:14, Reply)

It wasn't up to either of us.
A colleague of mine was a friend of hers and she more or less made the decision for us.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:14, Reply)

umm
She laughed and walked away...
(Wandering Nomad still wandering on, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:14, 1 reply)

she told me to buzz off!
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( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 19:13, 14 replies)