visited a Private school
saw the following and giggled.
'Communism is a type of cheese'
it is funny because it is true.
( Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Tue 8 May 2007, 19:02, Reply)

Parents
In Edinburgh uni toilets a good few years back someone had written:

I HAD YOUR MUM AND SHE IS SHIT.

To which my mate added:

GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK.

Made me chuckle.
(Spaaarkz, Tue 8 May 2007, 18:50, Reply)

not really my own, perhaps some australian urban legend
painted in letters 6 feet high, in dripping black paint, on a rock canyon wall hundreds of miles out in the Australian bush, where only walkabout aboriginals would espy it..

"Kenny fucks spiders"
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 8 May 2007, 18:41, Reply)

weirdest i ever saw was..
zippy=shit on a wall in wolverhampton. never really got it, surely george was shitter?
(come2whereimfrom .co.uk, Tue 8 May 2007, 18:25, Reply)

wuggl3z has reminded me...
I work at an engineering company, so the engineers really are engineers..

If the coffee machine breaks down, and someone writes

'Out of Order. An engineer has been called.'

you can can guarantee that someone will add:

'That's a bit extravagant isn't it; I'd have thought a repairman would be better..?'

Engineers are rather touchy that the word 'engineer' isn't a protected title (like solicitors or accountants) in the UK as it is in the rest of europe.
(inflateable, Tue 8 May 2007, 18:24, Reply)

PJM
i used to order from a curry place in sheffield called the ghandi tandori who used the same slogan

"you have tried the cowboys now try the real indians"

i could never figure out if it was all some kind of joke especially since its the only takeway i have ever ordered from where somone who was white has turned up at the door

anyway back on topic

in the toilets in the adsetts centre (sheffield hallams library)
"out of order, an engineer has been called"

changed to:

"out of order, an engineer has been called a nob"

not that funny bit it made me giggle while i made use of the facilities
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Tue 8 May 2007, 18:10, Reply)

Another gem from my brother...
...I took one of my schoolbooks out of my bag as a kid one day to find one of his scrawls on it declaring me '...A LIL SON OF A BITH'. At least he was consistent.

Thing is, he's never not liked our Mum at any juncture, so I don't think he quite made the connection :)

Our Mum reminded me of this one :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 8 May 2007, 18:10, Reply)

In a children's science textbook,
"fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
screw a kangaroo
fingerbang an orangutan
support your local zoo"

sorry if this was already posted
(xtalizer jams on it!, Tue 8 May 2007, 17:49, Reply)

bo?
In child like scrawl on the wall of the cubicle in Zigfrids, hoxton square

"I love you shitting"

.
(Darth Vegas Poke It With A Stick, Tue 8 May 2007, 17:46, Reply)

Toilet love

( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Tue 8 May 2007, 17:41, Reply)

Not quite toilet graffiti
But one of the best ads i've seen in a while


( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Tue 8 May 2007, 17:17, Reply)

not quite sure!
down an alley, on the way to the Smithfield public house, a place of ill repute all things considered, is the legend,

'IAN BATTYES BOYS HERE'

are they Ian Batty's boys? like a 'krew'?
or does Ian 'batty' boys?
how do you 'batty' someone?
is it a gay sex reference??

why arent vandals more precise?
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 8 May 2007, 17:15, Reply)

too slow
i went to norfolk to visit my uncle, and whilst walking back from the pub decided to have some fun with the locals by changing their roadsigns. ooh i was a baddass.

I was very confused, due to beer mainly, but there was a flaw in my plan.

The road sign i was going to change was "Slutshole Lane". apparently never changed since about 1750 when the local hookers used the lane for business.

WTF was i going to do to that?
I went home a broken man and have never graffiti'ed again.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Tue 8 May 2007, 16:56, Reply)

Best Graffiti Ever
Many years ago I was out with me Mum walking the dog. We go past the bus shelter at the end of the road & Mum spies some chalked up graffiti claiming "I HATE LIFE" This plays on her sensibilities & she has to do something as it offends her. Living on chalk downland it's not long before she has a lump of chalk & as we pass the bus shelter on the way back she alters the graffiti to read "I HATE LIBERALS"
So from suicidal graffiti we now had a fascistic message. It always makes me smile to remember it.

Apologies for length but it's my first time (& that boast follows me all my life!!)
(chris337, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:37, Reply)

Free Palestine!
Written underneath:

'Or nearest offer..'

(Incidentally, I was in Liverpool and I saw a uniformed cop on patrol, in uniform, draw a tache on a poster.. I dint really know what to make of it)
(Vote Pedro, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:29, Reply)

Playing fucking toilet tennis at 45 fucking degrees
with fucking limbo dancers
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:25, Reply)

Teenage Kicks
The school where I work has got scientific equipment manufactured by a company called "Country Furniture", which has been doctored to read...yes, you guessed it..."Cunt Fur". I laugh every time I see it.

Signed the Headmaster
(Pushka, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:22, Reply)

Best Grafiti Ever
One bit of "tagging", as the young people refer to it, which sticks in my mind could be found on Victoria Road, in Headingly, Leeds, a few years ago. It wasn't rude or offensive, but it was certainly noticeable and, one felt, sincere. Outside the local newsagent, on a long,four foot high wall in large letters for all the passing traffic to see, some poor bugger had scrawled the phrase "LOVE IS JUST A MISERABLE LIE" It wasn't painted over for as long as I was living around there, and for all I know may still remain, which I think demonstrates the cynicism of our friends in the North, that or the lack of funding for urban regeneration.
(scoppie, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:21, Reply)

Deutsch Heute
Deutsch Heute was our school text book for GCSE German and contained a sporadic cartoon strip of a German pig called Rudi.

On one of the toilet walls, someone had drawn a picture of Rudi standing up and urinating against a wall with a speech bubble saying "ahhh".

Not particularly witty but funny to 12 year old boys, oh and well drawn.

Edit: the pig may actually be called Franzi apparently. Either way, he still likes to slash up walls.
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:18, Reply)

College shenanigans.




And the best one, originally 'Save some cash'


This and moustaches added to absolutely everything in sight, led to a very unhappy college and some appauling grades on my part. :]
(Big Spoon Baby Balloon hides in corners, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:11, Reply)

Just in case you weren't sure.
Back in school I remember reading in the toilets "such-and-such is gay" underneath which someone had written "He shags men!" complete with exclamation mark. I dunno, made me laugh.
(bacon roll, Tue 8 May 2007, 16:05, Reply)

I can see the bum
ARSE VIEW DRIVE in Bearsden, near Glasgow is an effluent (sic) area. Formerly Carse view of course.

My least facourite bit of graffiti was on the back of a toilet door at Uni, which suggested a meet time for 'cockfun'. Halfway through my shit I realised that the date and the time was at that very moment. I shat so quick it hurt for days.
(cuntstubble, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:57, Reply)

On the inside of a door to one of the bogs at uni....
Written along the bottom edge:

"Beware the limbo dancers"

It would have been rude not to add "Beware the pole-vaulters" to the top edge. So I did.
(MrKipling43, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:46, Reply)

On the wall of a public toilet cubicle
Captain's Log, stardate blah

Beamed down to earth for a quick crap
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:41, Reply)

On the wall of a public toilet cubicle
"Don't beam me up now Scottie, I'm having a Shi..,¸¸,ø¤"

(I tried to re-create the way the pen line kind of curved upwards then disappeared but it's hard to do)
( Nutmeg Harpoon dry humped your sister on, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:37, Reply)

inspired!
tonight, i shall go to my brothers house, and graffiti the words 'big dave' in the gusset of all his pants!
for a laff, like.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:22, Reply)

this is what happens when youre bored and work as a sign writer.


uhh...
(octoriot, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:13, Reply)

Two bits
As a young child driving down to visit relatives in deepest darkest Devon it was always a high point of the journey to spot the 'watch out for cows' sign that had been turned into the picture of a Woolly Mammoth.

Sadly the sign is no longer there but it is one of my aims to recreate the same graffiti - ensuring that I am in the same state of mind as the Devonian that created it probably was.

My folks live in the south of France - lucky in some ways unlucky in others. In one of the nearby supermarket toilets scrawled on the back of the door to the Gents ‘hole in the ground’, among all the usual smut (you know Jean-Pierre takes it up le arse etc) is written in a very English style “HELLO FROGGIES!” For some reason I find this to be wonderfully amusing...as does my Dad. Simple creatures me and my Dad.
(Skidrow, Tue 8 May 2007, 15:13, Reply)

Bus graffiti
On one seat on the bus was written the following:
"I'm so emo I shit eyeliner"

On the seat behind it was written:
"I'm so emo I write deprecating comments about myself"
(John_Anon_Prince I have no heart and soul, Tue 8 May 2007, 14:48, Reply)