My Gran is currently on strike 2…
Prologue: my Granddad died when I was little and my Gran has been living alone for approx 20 years. Everybody in the family visits as often as possible so she doesn’t get too lonely.
Now it’s not her fault, but she is a bit ‘mental’. It’s genetic. She has passed it onto my mum who has passed it onto my sisters. I cant explain it, but hopefully by the time you finish reading this you will get the idea…

Strike 1:
I get a phone call at 7am on a Saturday. “Frample, I need you to come round now its important,” she doesn’t sound like she is in any pain or distress but I get dressed and head over anyway.

Upon arrival the front door is open and my Gran has something wrapped in a paper-towel. She gets in the car. “Drive” she says and directs me to a street on a local estate
Where she has absolutely no business being.

Whilst driving, I recognise the unmistakeable smell of a bacon sandwich “that for me?” I enquire, “No” replies Gran “we’re nearly there”

And then I find that a crime has been committed through the night, a ‘crime scene’ has been set up, and a local bobby has been guarding it since 4am, not allowed to move from the scene, called my Gran who got ME out of bed to deliver a bacon sandwich!

Strike 2:
Gran calls me, informing me that she needs my help in moving her T.V. stand. Fair enough, she is an old lady; i'm a young bloke, i’m more than happy to help!

Call round to find THE SAME FUCKING BOBBY sat on the sofa sipping tea! He’s more-or-less the same age/build/strength as me, and yet my Gran has decided that I must be called from my house, drive the 15 miles to her house to move the T.V. stand (actually, rotate the stand by 5 degrees, adding insult to injury)

I love her, but fuck me does she do my head in sometimes!
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 19:34, 2 replies)

I predict that Strike 3 will be
her asking for you to organise a 3-way with the same young PC.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 4 Jun 2011, 6:21, closed)

I hope
to be this sort of old person when/if I reach this age. Click indeed.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Sat 4 Jun 2011, 13:00, closed)