I've never been to a gym
But I did once buy a rowing machine after a doctor told me I should exercise more, which is gym equipment so nearly counts.

Well, of course it's the old story isn't it? Turns out that rowing machines are boring, so an initial keen start was followed by six months of seeing the device being increasingly disused. I got a dog instead, reasoning that I'd have to take her out for walks and thus couldn't avoid the exercise.

I put an ad for the rowing machine in the back of the local paper. A couple of days later a neighbour pops round to see if I've still got it. Indeed I did.

I demonstrated the various features - the heart monitor, the bits that slide backwards and forwards, and the pin that you unscrew so that you can fold it up - "Makes it easier to hang your washing on" I said.

He laughed at that - must have thought I was joking.

Anyway, he paid the money, we folded it into the back of his pickup, and off he went.

After setting it up in his spare room, he changed into his lycra, fastened on the heart monitor, strapped his feet into the footpads and hauled firmly back on the handle. Unfortunately he'd forgotten to put that pin back in, and the whole front of the machine reared up like the vengeful wave in A Perfect Storm and damn near hospitalised him.

Three months later, I noticed an ad in the back of the local paper for a rowing machine, and the neighbour was seen about the place walking a dog. Only three months? Perhaps he didn't need anywhere else to hang his washing.
(richardm, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 17:39, 3 replies)

*click*
nice imagery ... made me do a Diet Coke snort out of my nose and everything.
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 20:50, closed)

nice story
click
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 13:59, closed)

Brilliant
That image of him clobbering himself with the whole thing is just too good. Excellent work, sir!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 13:24, closed)