My most intense ever workout
When I was in my early twenties I used to be a tubby bitch. Sit me on the floor cross-legged and you’d have a pretty good representation of Buddah (only with a bigger cock). Things came to ahead when my dear old dad bought me a pressie for my birthday and had it delivered to my house with a note. The present was an exercise bike and the note said simply: You are fat Cheers, dad.

So I spent the next few days getting to grips with the damn machine. It took alot of sweat, blood, tears, and tantrums – moments where I wanted to give up and go and have a Big Mac – but eventually I got the fucker out of the box. Then, after a few more days my chimp-like assembly skills meant I had the damn thing up and looking like an exercise bike.

Then I put on the instructional video, got into my brand new exercise gear (I looked like someone out of Goldie Lookin’ Chain), and settled down to do some serious, hard fat burning. The video started, and the lithe young Lycra’d godess on screen started doing some pulling and stretching excersises...

...and I started doing some pulling exercises of my own. On my cock. This girl was seriously, seriously hot and I knew I’d have to get a wank out the way before I could concentrate on what she was actually saying. So, I’m sat astride the bike, grunting and sweating, building up a head of steam, nearing the point of no return –

And I hear the front door open. Shit! And in my excitement I feel my cock start to gush. Shit! Quickly, I cup my right hand round my bell end and manage to catch the spunky flow, no time to clean up properly, I slip my jogging bottoms over my throbbing love muscle and try my best to hide my cupped hand, my palm gently cradling a nice healthy, gloopy dollop of man batter.

The living room door opens, in walks the Witch of the North (my uber-evil ex girlfriend)... and some other girl I’ve never seen before. A mate from work. The ex says hello and introduces her friend. The friend then does something awful, terrible, absolutely bollock-churningly hideous...

...she holds out her hand for me to shake. Awkwardly, I reach out with my other non-spunky hand. This stranger in my living room looks a bit put out. That’s when I notice she’s got her fucking arm in a sling. Shit! She can only shake hands with my evil cum paw! How dare this fucker be disabled in any way shape or form? Arggggghhhhh!!! So, I quickly wipe the cum on my arse and, gingerly, hold out my hand.

She grasps it. Gives it a firm shake, and says: “Oooh, sticky....” SHIT!!! “You must’ve been working out for awhile already.” And she wanders off to chat with the evil ex.

And – I have to say – my heart rate was through the fucking roof for the next twenty minutes. Hoping, praying, wishing... that she didn’t lift her hand up to her nose and give it a nice, hearty sniff....
( SpankyHanky, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 15:47, 5 replies)

Is there no end to your perversions?
have a click
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 16:02, closed)

Hahaha
Another classic from the balls of Spanky - keep it up mate (fnar, fnar)!

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 16:17, closed)

dirty boy!
heeheehee!
(Grrrrr Tigers, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 16:43, closed)

*click* for "evil cum paw"...
...amongst others. Nice work again, matey!
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 16:55, closed)

That's a great 'dad' note
"You are fat Cheers, dad"
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 2:38, closed)