I don't know if this qualifies me for hell
But it'll make heaven a bit awkward if I ever get there...

I once got paid to dress up as a nun and sing for three hours in Liverpool Street Station. Nowt wrong with that, impersonating a bride of Christ. At least it doesn't say so in the ten commandments.

All was going well. We sang the same eight songs on repeat for three hours and when we finished, all hoarse and giggly from all the singing, caffeine and leers from commuters, we trooped off to the ladies together because that's what ladies do, despite some of us not knowing each other, but hey.

As you know if you are a lady you can have nice girly bathroom moments with your lady companions. As I reapplied my (admittedly not very nun-like) lipgloss, I brightly trilled "This is fucking ace! I can't believe they're paying us £200 each to dress up like penguins and warble for three hours! Easiest weekend on the piss I've ever earned!" to the nun next to me... who wasn't a young studenty type... who didn't have the giveaway flared jeans and trainers peeping out of the bottom of her habit... who had a rosary at her waist... and a disapproving expression... and who then told me she would "pray for me" that weekend...

I mumbled "Sorry sister" and promptly fled as all the other fake nuns stifled giggles and the other real nuns looked on disapprovingly.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:46, 8 replies)

Winner!
You gonna be in the OBJ on Christmas Eve, by the way?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:48, closed)

that would be heaps of fun
since it's been, what, about thirteen years?

but I am not yet sure what time I'll be landing in NUL, since mr tulip has to work that day.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:35, closed)

:(
Mind you, I said I'd be there last year, and couldn't be arsed when the crunch came...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:09, closed)

that 's true
never mind eh, I'm sure we'll be at some bash or other at some point in time.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:34, closed)

I used to clean the windows at a convent.
It took about an hour, and they always made me a brew. They also followed me round, trying to have a convo. I had absolutely no idea what to say, and talked about the fucking weather. For an hour. Soul destroying.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:50, closed)

*click*
Brilliantly cringe-worthy!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:55, closed)

why do i get a massive raging horn on...
at the thought of HLT in a nuns outfit applying lipgloss with a slightly hoarse voice

is it really just me?

surely not
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 22:57, closed)

This raised a chuckle!
Nice one miss :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 10:06, closed)