My housemate at the moment is a complete mental....
Our housemate is a bit of an ego-freak, who needs the attention of others to validate her own existence, in addition to that though she's got one hell of a temper on her and frquently breaks down into screaming, crying hissy fits. I swear a couple of times she even stopped breathing she was so angry and for why? Well...

1. Whenever Lady Doom and I cook some food, housemate has to know what's going on and demands that we make her some food as well. We can't sit down and eat ours first though, that would be too easy - instead we've got to let our dinner go cold while we prepare something for her to keep the peace.

2. ALL telly watching is verboten. Seriously, ten minutes of Jeremy Kyle or Cash In The Attic would be televisual paradise in our house. We foolishly started trying to sneak in DVD episodes of The Wire when we thought the coast was clear, but somehow her sixth sense kicks in and there she is, kicking off again.

3. As she has no job, she finds it perfectly reasonable to sleep all day and stay awake all night, which would be fine if she was quiet about it and we could get forty winks... Needless to say her need for recognition and attention knows no boundaries and at the first sign of one or other of us droping she gets bored and we have to somehow find a way to occupy her time (despite the fact that our own interests are completely marginalised).

We're in this for the long term though, we can't get rid of her. She's only seven weeks old.

/length gag
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:09, 14 replies)

(ours is 9 weeks old)
I have onr like that, she bitches when I take a long soak in the bath :(
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:23, closed)

You could try finding the room furthest away from the bathroom...
and lock her in there?

Not very paternal of me is it?
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:27, closed)

about as paternal as i am maternal.
I suggested nails as an alternative to stairgates :D
(LittleWhiteTreat, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 23:17, closed)

I'll bet
that its a baby or something.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:23, closed)

Would it change things
if I said it was a houseplant that we've anthopomorphised with its own personality traits as part of a collective bout of insanity?
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:26, closed)

You get a click ...
if only for that reply.
(phyphor, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 23:37, closed)

It's costing us a fortune in Baby Bio and cat turds...

( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:13, closed)

Just beat you to it
Better get used to it mate!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:39, closed)

I spotted that just when it was too late...
=D

It's hot food I miss the most...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:43, closed)

Remember Sunday morning lie-ins?



I don't.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:59, closed)

Ha ha ha ha

( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:17, closed)

when oh when


when oh when will idiotic randy hetrosexuals ever learn that condoms are both cheaper than nappies and a easier to put on...


babies me hole.
(The Cats Twat, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 0:16, closed)

This was actually a deliberate choice...
and there is talk of more...

Top Tip: If you want to scare your partner into not having any more, say something like "you only want ONE more? I was thinking we'd have at LEAST ten!"

Immediate sterilisation often ensues.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:11, closed)

Seven weeks old?!!!
Jesus. Where are the parents?



Oh.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 2:25, closed)