Christ. Oh Kerrr-ist. The things I've seen and endured...
Okay, so, managed to hang around Uni for 4 years or so, and in that time... shit, I can't believe the things and people I came across.

First year, cheapest Uni accommodation around was an estate of flats that resembled something from the eastern bloc. The "social club" was fun though, and I worked there.
My flatmates were an exciting assortment. Rob had made about £10K in his last year of 6th form selling drugs, and managed to spend it all in his first year consuming them (and much alcohol). Every day he went to Uni, 9-5, came home, ate, worked solid 'til 8, put some hard-house on his astoundingly powerful hi-fi, got wound up and hit whatever club was in that night. EVERY fucking night. The guy had the stamina of an ox, and was built like one. Surprisingly nice bloke though.
Ben was a lovely big Korean bear of a bloke who just ate constantly, but was no trouble to anyone.
Resh was this little Sri-Lankan tit who made a fucking depressing mess in the kitchen every day, somehow used all the loo paper, and persisted in putting the heating on full whenever he thought he could get away with it. Then he'd wonder around in his shorts and flip-flops going "Jeez it's cold in here". Tit.
Then there was Andy. Ooooh, Andy. What a curiously fucked up guy you were. He was in the Uni Air Squadron, one of 5 selected to do combat training in preparation to follow his father into the RAF (which is a scary notion if you ever met him). Smiled a lot, had a temper that snapped catastrophically all the time. He heard me playing a Marillion album once, and asked if he could borrow it as he liked "Dry Land". He then proceeded to play that song at deafening volume twice a day, and sometimes you could just about hear him screaming along to it, other times I saw him crying his eyes out. He had a lot of angst.

Year two, flat with 3 girls. 1 was lovely but again an E-fiend. 1 was okay but a bit artificial. 1 was a raging, RAGING feminist who found my very existence within the same city as her offensive from the word go. She'd go to the flat next door every night and bitch to the neighbours (who were very nice). Eventually (I'm told), they all just turned to her and asked: "What exactly have you got against him??". Her reply? "Well... he's just... like, I'll go in the kitchen and he's just THERE!". Powerfully unpleasant girl.

I moved house at least 5 times in the next two years (see previous posts), but some of the most memorable cohabitees include:

- Viktor, 17 yr old, 7st, 5ft5, half-crippled Russian German fella. Loved him to bits, very friendly, wouldn't harm a fly, was in UK because his mum had bought him a ticket and put him on the plane minutes before the police finally tracked him down (he was 15, had been on the run for 2 years). The shit that guy had been involved in...

- Steve aka Mongfish. Fantastically witty, manically depressive Geordie who "redecorated" his room, and ended up pretty much tunnelling under the house. Great guy. Also broke into more random doors on campus than I would've believed existed - had this obsession with finding out where things went. He eventually uncovered a vast underground network of tunnels under Birmingham Uni, which nobody is supposed to know exists. No-one knows what they're for, but a lot of research that fed into nuclear fission went on there some years ago. Gotta wonder.


Finally, after leaving Uni town, I moved in with a friend of a friend for a few months. Horrible to live with, had no life that didn't consist of D&D and his girlfriend, who was a sour little cow. However, I committed the ultimate faux-pas by being caught having a threesome with my g/f & ex on the sofa in the front room. Didn't really talk to him much after that...

I would apologise for length but neither of them complained.
(PyroTyger I ate all your bees., Thu 5 Apr 2007, 22:09, closed)