Ham Butties?
My little sister used to rent a room in Seven Sisters with an assortment of weirdos, one particularly lovely "lady", was convinced that someone was stealing her ham (slices of) Whether this was true or not I think pales into insignificance when you consider her retalliation was to wipe the remaining pieces on her front bottom, presumably for consumption later...

Lovely stuff...

She was also a particularly large and sweaty beast I might add.
(legion1978 "for we are many...", Wed 11 Apr 2007, 16:18, closed)