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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Jesus Titty-Sucking Christ...
I was about three weeks into my first job as a waiter at the tender age of 16 and doing ok. Polite, friendy, good with customers - things were looking good. Anyway, one night I was dealing with a large table of about 10 people, one being a new mum with a baby in a car seat on the floor.

Their food went out course by course and I applied my best tip-winning charm as I dished out meals and returned empty plates. It was pretty busy so I didn't have loads of time to chat, but I made a mental note to say something flattering about kid to the proud mum. Women love that for some reason...

By the time I took their bill over, the baby had woken up and was in it's Mothers' arms. I seized the moment, stood next to her, looking down at the kid as I attempted to say "Oooh! What a lovely Baby."

Only I didn't quite manage the full sentence. No.

After the "Ooooh!" I got distracted by the pair of bare-naked breasts hanging out of the woman's blouse. I stood with my chin on the floor for what felt like an hour staring at them; trying to apologise with no words leaving my mouth - which, to eveyone round the table, must have looked like I was imagining sucking on them myself.

I literally ran away and hid.
(, Fri 18 Aug 2006, 18:47, closed)

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