"don't go near that pile of tarmac in the carpark!"
me and my sister both ignored this one. the result was both of us, stripped down to our knickers(the ones with the day of the week on them, no less)in the communal courtyard, being hosed down and scrubbed with butter by a very angry mother.
getting tarmac off your skin really hurts.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 16:44, 8 replies)

Shit. That's embarrassing.
I always thought you were black.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 11:37, closed)

hahahaha

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 13:42, closed)

Scrubbed with butter by a very angry mother.
www.scrubbedwithbutterbyaveryangrymother.com is still available. There might be a couple of quid in it.
( Ghoti Fingers, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 18:59, closed)

maybe
but she'd never be up for it. besides, st her height, dwarf porn would seem more likely.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 13:45, closed)

Scrubbed with butter?
Were you being basted?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 22:28, closed)

I don't think so.
I assume you are joking; but for general enlightenment:

Butter is a proven method of tar removal. Essentially, you're using a broadly-similar innocuous substance, to help remove a problematic and very adhesive one.

Although many long-chain aliphatic hydrocarbons should do the job; butter scores well for being readily available, non-toxic, generally contaminant-free, and low cost.

It's been used in a medical context as part of the treatment of tar burns. First Aid by cooling with cold water (as per most heat burns); then later using butter to dissolve the tar, and clean absorbent material to soak up the resultant emulsion. Finally, standard wound cleaning and care can be applied.

Apparently it performed well as an expedient solution; possibly even superior to the established substances (which were unavailable at the time) for tar removal.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Seek professional advice in the event of tar burns. Terms and conditions apply. Your home is at risk if you set fire to it.

References: www.worldwidewounds.com/2004/december/Steenvoorde/Tar-Removal-From-A-Burn-With-Butter.html
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 1:06, closed)

Speaking as a health care professional who spent 5 years working on a burns unit...
...I can confirm that, as well as dealing with those affected by bad Scottish poetry, we did use butter(and, other, oil-based substances) to treat bitumen burns.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 8:05, closed)

i'm just glad she left my giblets alone

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 13:46, closed)