On the eve of my first date, at the tender age of 14, my father gave me a single line of advice
"Always pull her chair out for her," he said with a lascivious wink.

My mind swimming with the heady dreams of sticking my tongue down her throat, I set off to her house to pick up my poor teenage victim. We went to the bus stop, we took a bus ride together, we alighted in town, both stiff with nervous excite and anticipation.

We went to a cinema. Then a McDonalds. Then the bus home. Every single seat we sat on was bonded to the floor. I didn't get my tongue down her throat, or my hand up her top. Thanks for nothing, Dad.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:17, 3 replies)

You skipped the part in the dungeon.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 16:53, closed)

the chairs were bolted down there too.

(speedevil, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:04, closed)

actually what you dad said was
Pull her chair out from under her.
It's much more effective.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 23:16, closed)