I am king of the impulse buy.
For I have, for no apparent reason:
Two snakes
A small model of Minas Tirith
A thermos mug that gets me free refills of coffee should I go back to the Arctic Circle via Norway
A replica revolver from the Sierra Nevada
A tarantula that hates my guts
A Laserpod (www.laserpod.com)
A Reliant Robin (project)
4000 points of Tau (Warhammer 40K)
A giant, inflatable Kinder Bueno bar

And many more.

I don't know why.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:39, 9 replies)

oh balls
i bought a thousand pounds worth of laptop that is now used exclusively for reading the B3ta QOTW and looking at porn.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Thu 21 May 2009, 12:36, 2 replies)

Call me 'Mr Mystic Twisty'...

My prediction for this week:

Loads of lists.

Puns aplenty

The QotW will be won by a photo post of what somebody has bought.

I haven't decided yet whether or not this is a good qotw...

Thank fuck my opinion doesn't matter
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:36, 2 replies)

I once bought a a car for £150
a 1994 Series 2 Citroen XM. 2.1 TD. It was SORN with no MOT. The gear shifter was almost seized, it had a sticky height correcter, so the pneumatic suspension would rise to the top and stay there everytime.

I bought several replacement parts for it, which I never fitted as I had no mechanical know-how whatsoever.

Eventually, I stripped it for parts and sold them on eBay, then scrapped the shell.

As the value of scrap metal was at an all-time high, I actually doubled my investment on it. Not bad for something that sat in the garage for 18 months
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:36, 1 reply)

SWMBO's parents are Francophiles.
They like all antique furniture - grandfather clocks, antique mahogany dressing tables and other such monstrosities. But especially French furniture. The following story is 100 percent true.

Anyhoo, a couple of years back, at the beginning of December, SWMBO's dad decided that he simply must have a Louis XVI style chaise longue.

"It will add a decadent feel to the living room", he argued, "It'll be very nice at Christmas time with a glass of claret."

Now, SWMBO's mother is of French descent, hence the Francophile wrong-ness. She agreed with the 'decandent' and 'christmas' mentality and enthusiastically allowed him a budget of £500 to make the hideous purchase.

Off to the antique dealers he went, he searched high and low, far and wide but alas, nothing suitable could be found.

I suggested he try FleaBay. "Good idea, Sir".

Within minutes, he had found the perfect chaise longue. Carved giltwood with gold leaf, burgundy upholstery, decadent looking - it was to be the perfect wine drinking chair. And the bidding had only reached £30 odd quid, although there were many bidders. With less than an hour to go!

"I'll have that" thought SWMBO's old man, "make sure that no-one else can outbid me" he hurredly proclaimed.

Gambling on there being a rush as the auction ended, he placed a maximum bid of £250, half of their budget, but easily enough to secure the nice new chaise longue.

Sure enough there was a rush. The bids flooded in, and SWMBO's elders just pipped it, paying a grand total of £253 (including the delivery charge of £5).

"Bloody cheap shipping as well, if I do say so myself" exclaimed an overjoyed SWMBO's dad. All was well, the house was to be a veritable palace with the nice new chaise longue installed in time for Christmas.

Roll forward, 2 days later, there was a knock at the door. A parcel was delivered. The parcel was unknown, but addressed to SWMBO's dad.

"Anyone order anything?" he enquired, showing the parcel to everyone. "This one's addressed to me."

"Nope" came the reply.

With a shrug of the shoulders he opened the small, carefully wrapped parcel.

Silence.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!" he bellowed, red faced, as he presented a carefully wrapped antique chaise longue, with a certficate of authenticity. All very lovely, apart from the fact it was about 3 inches long, meant for a doll's house.

£253 for a small doll's house chaise longue. Should have read the item description properly, shouldn't you?
(Sir General ***WoW***, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:33, 9 replies)

This one guy I knew
would swing both ways sexually, so to speak. Everytime I saw him, he would barge into me with an impelling force of at least 100 Newton-seconds.

That was my experience of an 'impulse bi'
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:28, 1 reply)

Ooh I've just thought of another one.
Well, not exactly an 'impulse buy' I got it for free but, funnily enough precisely one year ago today, I recieved a pedigree German Shepherd doggy from a man who had come a few days previously to fix my windows. He had menttioned to me that his dad wasn't taking care of him and that as my girlfriend and I already had one would we consider taking him in. We said yes on the spot and one year and nine puppies later he's still with us.

Sadly the puppies aren't. They got sold. :(
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Well...
Once upon a time I was walking through the MetroCentre...

***** DELETED BY A MOD *****

apologies for GREAT BIG MASSIVE PURPLE PROD ROD etc
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I once bought a £250 pair of Dior sunglasses.
They were sitting in the window of the shop, looking all shiny and nice. I'd just got my pay packet and thought I'd treat myself.

About a week later I sat on them and broke them.
(I'm not here was here on, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Pop star
The time: Mid 1980s

The plan: Be the next Howard Jones and a major music star within 18 months

Shopping list:
* Korg Poly-6 synth - £400
* H/H 100W amp - £150
* Roland TR-808 drum machine - £1,000
* Various recording gubbins - £1,500

Actual musical talent - zero

Number of actual songs recorded - zero

Number of live appearances - none at all

Actual career path taken after selling all of above at a substantial loss to a group called "Instant Fish": Livin' the dream as a Civil Servant
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:21, 1 reply)

Birthday
In a bid to out weird-birthday-present each other me and a mate have got each other some utter crap.

At the pub on my 22nd birthday, he handed me a carrier bag with my present in. A 2-pound lump hammer, a pair of garden shears and a big bag of dried anchovies.

In retaliation, I bought a slightly damaged prosthetic leg from a guy I knew that was upgrading and gift-wrapped it for him.

In the pub, with the aid of a belt, we strapped his leg up out of the way and managed to attach the false limb to his folded knee. From the right angle, it looked almost real, from the other 350-degrees of viewpoints, it looked like the most unpolitically correct thing you ever did see.

To add to the effect, I gave him a sign around his neck which said "Support the Amputee Society"

At throwing out time, we calculated that had we not been so honest, we'd have left the pub at least £60 better off.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Impulse buys?
I once spent £500 in Boots on women's deodorants for the sheer hell of it.
It's true that us men really can't help acting on Impulse...
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:17, 2 replies)

I once went through a period of...
buying hundreds and hundreds of Warhammer 40,000 miniatures off ebay. It has now reached the point were one of my armies has over 400 of the little blighters. That's right. ONE of the armies. I've spent tens of thousands on this 'hobby', I swear it's like crack to me.

More recently, if I've got the money, I'll go to a board game shop and invariably spend £50-£60 on things that look 'shiney' or have cool looking boxes.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:16, 6 replies)

Second Wife
/sorry.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:16, Reply)

Loads!
Cars were always a favourite, I had a weakening for shite ones too.
Renault 21 was probably the worst one.

Hmmm... What else?

Mobile phones, I have to have the latest one, don't know why really, just like gadgets.

Fish: I've been known to spend well over £100 on some exotic marine fish that I just must have, the best being a Porcupine Puffer fish (Diodon Holocanthus).

There'll be more added as they come to me.
(Kip, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Never buy things on impulse.
Use your warp drive, instead!

Sorry.

So very, very sorry.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:10, 3 replies)

Where do I start on impulsive buys?
The EMF meter that I thought was cool - Never used!
My first bass guitar, I was drunk - Too big for me!
A Moog Theremin - Can't play it!
A 37" LCD TV - Didn't need it I had two bigger flat TV's already!

I could go on and on and on.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:08, 4 replies)

.
When a man you’ve never met before gives you flowers, that’s Impulse.

It’s either that, someone from the gays being a bit previous or glaucoma/downs.

Sorry.

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Google Mail invites
When Gmail first started, they were only offering invitations to a relatively small number of members who'd already signed up to Blogger.

Lucky me, I was able to sign up and take advantage of the 1GB of storage, almost equivalent to 0.001% of my pr0n collection. I also got two invites for my friends, which, being a mercenary bastard at the time, I put on eBay.

I got 200 quid for them, and verily I felt smug, especially as Google opened the service for sign-ups a week later, making Gmail invites virutally worthless.

Alas, this story would end here, were it not for my own impulsive nature.

Instead of trousering the money and using it for something useful, it hardly touched the side of my paypal account as I squirted it all up the wall on a pile of 2000AD comics, which my wife subsequently put in the recycling.

As Judge Dredd would say: DROKK.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:07, 3 replies)

Impulsive Purchase
Drugs – I’ve never ‘planned’ taking either marching powered, disco biscuits, wizz or weed, but, lubricated by a few pints, I’ll gladly put my hand in my pocket and hand over my hard earned for a bag of nondescript powder, oxo cube or a plaster of paris lump with the Mercedes symbol on it.

I’m not sure if this fits the bill, but lordy its happened more than once.

Oh, I can’t put my weekly big-shop through the tills in Tesco’s without a picking up a flake and the leaflet on cheap home insurance.

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I bought a plane ticket to Sweden for the next day to see a friend who was feeling down.
We've been together for two and a half years now.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:02, 3 replies)

My first purchase
on eBay was a Jaz drive and 2 tapes. It cost me £73 and I bought it purely to win the auction. I didn't need it, didn't use it and flogged it again 4 years later after it had sat ontop of my wardrobe collecting skin cells. For £38
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Cars
At one point, I owned 4 cars, all with a value of less than a hundred quid.

No, I don't know why either.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:56, 1 reply)

I impulsively bought
into the concept of saying FIFTH!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Thu 21 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

third but probably fourth

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Impulsively bought
second!

Bastard Third...
Oh yeah and on the previous QOTW...

LAST!

Ahhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahha!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I bought some HP sauce once.
It cost me five pence a week over twelve weeks.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)