In The Army Now
I was in the Army for 7 months and one day - but a lot happened in that time. This is about a hapless twat called Williams.

Williams was a bit of a liability in the Army. He had no brains, no co-ordination and the fighting spirit of a sloth. Or so we thought. Being that Williams was so crap, the troop corporals were trying to get him to crack and resign. They didn't want to use their veto (they can kick anyone off, for any reason) as it was a matter of pride to these sadists to break the recruit and get him to request discharge themselves. And so Williams had a pretty bad time. Anything and everything he did ended up with a corporal on his shoulder screaming at him, yelling at him to drop and give him 20 or organising spirit-breaking punishments like the infamous "bumper parades". (A bumper parade was where you had to pick up a "bumper", a device with a long handle ending in a swinging weight of about 20 lbs which was in turn connected to a flat bed of stiff bristles. They were used to clean lino floors). Williams, to his credit, took it all.

And then, one fateful day he lost it. We were out in the moors on one of the rifle ranges and I was in the next butt over from Williams. A particularly sadistic corporal had spent all day riding Williams. Yelling at him, kicking him, screaming at him to resign and go home to his mother when Williams snapped. He was standing up and the corporal was walking towards him screaming at him when Williams raised his rifle and aimed it from the hip at the corporals body. I could see the strain on Williams as he wept and his entire body shook but he kept the rifle pointed at the corporal. The corporal froze and his face drained. Williams was still shaking and he brought the gun up to his shoulder and I could see his hands tighten on the rifle-but. He was definitely going to shoot. And then a quiet voice said:

"You don't want to do that son."

And walking casually towards Williams was our troop sergeant. A decent bloke, tough,strict, but not a bully.

"If you pull that trigger they'll put you away forever and he isn't worth it son"

The sergeant had now reached the corporal and walked in front of him blocking Williams from shooting him.

"Just put the gun down Williams - Put it down and we'll go and have a cup of tea and sort this out"

He walked up to Williams and stood about a meter in front of him.

"Unload your weapon son, put it down carefully, just like we taught you..."

And Williams crumbled. He safed his weapon, unloaded it and put it on the ground and with sobs racking his body, was taken away by the sergeant, never to be seen again.

We never found out what happened to Williams but there was no army trial so we presumed he was asked to resign and was shipped home to avoid any scandal.

If I'd been him and I'd pointed the gun at the corporal. If I'd been ridden as hard as Williams had been then I would have slotted the bastard in a heartbeat.

But I'm not as tough as Williams.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:45, Reply)