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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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Please remind yourselves that i was 14 and it was cadets.
Drill Instructor - Get up the rope!

Me. - Sir, i cannot get up the rope, Sir!

Drill Instructor - Schmuck! I am ordering you to get up the rope. Are you disobeying a direct order.

Me - Sir. I cannot get up the rope, Sir.

Drill Instructor - What kind of yellow faggot are you! Did the doctor make a mistake and hand your mother her placenta sack or did she give birth to a boy!

Me - Sir. She gave birth to a boy, sir.

Drill Instructor - Then get up the fucking rope, Schmuck.

Me - Sir. I really... I can't... the rope, Sir.

Drill Instructor - Well I hope your mothers proud. She's the parent and owner of a talking sack of shit. That's quite a feat. She should be in Ripley's believe it or not. She should be in the guiness book of records. I don't think anybody has ever passed a whinging turd before. Is your mother proud of you Schmuck?

Me - Sir, My mother hung herself three years ago, sir.

Drill Instructor - Oh. So the rope is reminding...

Me - Sir, Yes Sir.

Drill Instructor - Move on to the next obstacle.
(, Sat 25 Mar 2006, 15:16, closed)

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