Nanook of the North
About fourteen years ago I worked for a graphic design company in the North West of England. A colleague and myself were asked one day to carry out a series of interviews for a secretarial position that had been advertised. Quite why they thought I would have any expertise in conducting interviews escapes me, but as usual, I digress.....
We'd seen two or three prospective candidates when our receptionist announced the arrival of our next one.....
In she came....wearing a thick overcoat with a pack-a-mac over the top......those black suede boots with a zip up the front and a provocative glimpse of sheepskin round the ankle, as favoured by the more discerning Russian Grandmother......woolly mittens......and - I swear this is true - a balaclava.....FFS!!!! She looked like a geriatric member of the SAS, although if memory serves, according to her CV she was only in her mid-forties....(which would probably explain why she didn't smell of piss....)....
Any offers to take her coat/balaclava/dog-sled were politely refused with her claiming she'd just come back from South Africa and hadn't acclimatised to the English weather yet (it was October, so hardly the time of year for chipping dogs off lamp-posts). I bet Ranulph Fiennes never has this much trouble...
Myself and Les, the other guy I was interviewing with, didn't dare look at each other as we'd both just have pissed ourselves on the spot, so we proceeded with the interview as if there was nothing untoward about a middle age woman dressed like Captain Oates, sitting clutching her handbag in the middle of the room. Of course it could only go downhill from here.....
At her request we ran through what the main duties of the job were - although if you were applying for a job with the title 'Secretary' you'd think you'd have some idea of what was going to be involved. It's not as though we were trying to sneak anything unusual in...."type invoices, open the mail, dispose of any bodies in the MD's car boot, filing.....".
When we mentioned that she would probably have to answer the phone at some point she virtually came out in a cold sweat (luckily she was dressed for a cold snap in Siberia) and insisted that she "didn't like talking on the phone", and the horror she expressed when informed that she would occasionally have to take some work orders upstairs to the studio - "oh, I don't do stairs", finally convinced us that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't the right person for the job.....in fact it was about this time that I had to very strongly resist the urge to jump up and tear her balaclava off in the mistaken belief that she was none other than wacky funster Jeremy Beadle attempting to use us as objects of ridicule....
Fortunately, I didn't, and she left without revealing herself to be the well-known and dextrously-challenged prankmeister.
We waited weeks for someone to come forward and reveal that they'd set us up, but it never happened, so I guess she was the real McCoy....





The job went to the one with biggest norks, obviously......

No apologies for length, girth, or being the REAL gunman on the grassy knoll.....
(Desolation Angel, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 12:49, Reply)

Lovely Candidates...
I've had some shit interviews, but i've also seen it from the 'other' side. We placed an advert for: a 'SHIFT TECHNICIAN' working SHIFT work, including WEEKEND SHIFTS... pretty clear we thought.

This guy turned up for his interview (45mins late). We tell him about the kind of work he would be expected to do and then move on to the 'shift' hours, to which he replied: "Oh, I can't do shift work."

When we mentioned weekends he said: "Oh, I can't work weekends, i've got a part-time Saturday job and I go to Church on Sundays."

I got a copy of the advert and asked him to read it, pointing out the word 'SHIFT' mentioned three times in the first line, to which he replied: "Oh I didn't think it would be important."

W.T.F.???

Anyway, we got our own back. We arranged a second interview, left him sitting around waiting for an hour and then went out and said: "Oh, didn't anyone tell you the job's gone, sorry they probably didn't think it was important."

Ho, Ho, Ho.
(SproutsAreEvil, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 12:47, Reply)

i once fell asleep in an interview!
but i got the job anyway! only to be made redundant 8 months later as the MD made many doddgy deals loosing the company millions! :o(

i often wonder what would have happened if i hadnt taken the job!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 10:26, Reply)

Unacceptable positions
When I was 22 I did some secretarial cover for a small company my boss Tony was fantastic and he felt quite bad that he was going to have to let me go (as the person I was covering for was coming back to work).
Anyway he said he`d ask around if anyone had any work for me.
Maybe its good to mention here that at this time I was also working as an artist`s model in the evenings which Tony did know about and for the unlightened artists models generally work naked.
Well a couple of weeks before I was due to leave Tony told me a guy he used to work with was in need of some secretarial work and it was a permanent position.
So an interview was arranged this was at meeting room at a local hotel for the next afternoon.
I turned up and this guy met me in the reception and immediatley asked me if I`d already had lunch as he hadn`t and he would much rather talk to me in less formal settings, ok thats fine by me.
So we order lunch and he`s chatting away I try to ask him about the possition that he has available and he`s asking me wether i think that this vintage is better than that one.
The best I get out of him is I really want to see if I can get along with you as Tony has already asured me of your compitance.
So I`ve now been talking to this guy for over an hour and I can`t get him to really tell me anything this job he`s all ordering coffee and asking me if I want a conjaq with that I don`t but he gets me one anyway.
Anyway by this point I`m convinced there`s no job he just wanted to have a pretty girl to eat lunch with.So I ask him straight what exactly is the possition your offering and he starts telling me how theres a flat included with the job and I`d be basically doing anything that needs doing, and very slimely says to me Oh you seem like a very flexible girl I`m sure you can manage to get yourself in to any manner of possitions (YUK).
Right I`m thinking so basically your offering the possition of bouncing on your knee time to make your excuses and get fek out of dodge.
So I say to him that I`m really not sure that what he was offering was what I was looking for at this he changed tact and told me how he had a room booked upstairs and he had bought me lunch and all. Then I got anyway your a bit of a go`er cos I heard about all that so called modelling you do, don`t you want to come and work for me I can pay what ever you want you dont even have to do any secretarial work if you don`t want to!!!!
At this point I`m gone not before telling him that he`s giving me 50quid for my taxi home.....Tony was very sorry but did find it hilarious and the last I heard was taking the piss out of this guy at every oppourtunity all he said to me was you should of got the dirty old tosser to give you a 100quid for the taxi!!
(Smumps, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 10:24, Reply)

Not an interview - but the two cheese-wits I employed.....
I run me own internet company - doing webby stuff all day and getting paid for it isn't as much fun as you'd think... - but being your own boss sure beats the alternatives....

AAnyway - I got two graduates on this scheme where they'd be subsidised for the first 10 weeks - to give them a chance at some work and me a chance to see if I liked them....

It was one of my first interviews and I didn't cack it too badly - but I never followed up their references with the gestapo-like intensity I now realise is vital....

Suffice to say they were fuckwits: they were a matched pair of a bloke and a girl and I found they could use NONE of the programming languages on their CV's - and that they had identical spelling errors on their CV's in the same place....

I would tell them something one day - in an email and via a printout - and they would not know it the next day: not just that they had forgotten it, but they did not rememebr being told it... I spent 10 weeks trying to get them to be functioning employable human beings then fired their arses.

I REALLY should have walked them off the premises - because in the few hours notices they had they tried to delete three months worth of work from another freelancer AND change a customers PayPal password for future fraud....

BUT: sweet, delicious revenge came: they asked me for a fuckin' reference!! I could not believe it! I wrote what I legally could - "fired for gross misconduct" but also called them and gave them the most scathing but turthful assesment I could...

Unbeliveable! What gormless, moronic, incompetent lackwit gives a reference for a job he got fired from?!?!
(chairman_of_the_peoples_democratic_republic_of_birmingham, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 9:56, Reply)

So you want job interview stories, eh?
I've got a few doozies. Here's my best:
A few years ago, I had an interview, arranged through a temp agency, at a firm on the southern tip of Manhattan. This was long before the Towers went down, btw.
So anyway, due to train delays, I was running late as I approached the building, though I was probably less than 5 minutes off the time I'd wanted to make. I figured I could carry it off if I ran for the elevator. So this I did.
And only then, after the doors had closed, did I realize that I was on the wrong elevator (not stopping at my floor). So I did what any of you would probably do in that situation - I took it back to the lobby & ran to the right elevator bank. When I heard a security guard yelling at someone, I ignored him - surely he couldn't be talking to me, right?
Wrong. He was. He flagged me down and insisted that I come to the security guard desk or else I'd be forcibly removed from the premises.
"I can't have you running amuck in this building,” he explained to me when I got to him.
He was absolutely convinced that I was there to commit some heinous crime and would hear nothing to the contrary. Two maintenance workers joined him as I tried to reason with the dullard. The trio of cretins stood around, glowering menacingly at me. One of the broom pushers flat out called me a liar when I told them why I was there. "You're not here for any job interview," he said.
Finally I talked him into calling the firm where I was scheduled to interview (ten + minutes ago, by now). Well, it seems the person who was to interview me was out sick, which resulted in another ten minutes delay while they scrambled around looking for the names of the applicants he had been going to see that day. At last, they found the list and my name on it.
Even then the dumbass was unconvinced. Or maybe just trying to save face. In any event, he stood right there, after an executive had vouched for me and said the following to the exec:
"Well, alright, but it's on your head if he does anything wrong."
Needless to say, I didn't get the gig.
Sorry for the length, btw. But it's a good story, isn't it?
(Evil Sausage, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 2:52, Reply)

Eh?
A few years ago I was desperate for a job, and on my last stop before heading home I stopped in one of the local car lots and was granted an on-the-spot interview.
The first few questions were straightforward, but when the recruiter asked what made me want to work there I replied, "Well, to be honest, I was actually going to apply at the wank emporium, er, adult film store, but thought I'd stop here first.". Then came a long, uncomfortable pause.

I did end up getting the job, mainly due to the fact that he was chums with one of my references. Eventually got fired from the place after a couple years, though.
( Hosehead, Wed 26 Jan 2005, 2:35, Reply)

roadhog
i was in need of some quick job so I went to an agency

"where did you last work?"
"post office"
"can you start at [insert well known parcel company] in half an hour? Pay's £7.50 an hour(in 1993)"
"ok"

noone mentioned it was a van driving job and did i have a license and i imagined it was just a sorting parcels job.

"sign for the keys"

but i thought fuck it and drove off thinking that if i got caught by the OB i could say i didn't know you needed a license and noone had ever told me. as a defense, it's a shit one

everything went fine until i had to call the office to ask how to get it into reverse
(globalloon, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 22:55, Reply)

Used to work at Woolworths for a few years.
Now that that admission is out the way I'll tell you about an interview I had with them.

Initial "I want to work as delivery boy" interview went ok and I got the job, a few years later after learning every possible skill in the store, I decided to apply for the "Entertainment Specialist" job (chief idiot on the dvd/music/computer games counter).

Had to go to another store for the interview with MY manager for the job in MY store. Interview was the normal "why do you want this/what will you bring" affair, then it went slightly pear shaped when I was asked to do a presentation on "What the Woolies mission means to me". Unfortunately I had never done a presentation in my life and I could think of no way to make the words "fuck all I just want to get paid more for a job I'm already doing" last 10 minutes.

The reason I didn't get the job was because my manager thought I was too outspoken when I was working especially when I didn't follow the district manager's suggestions because I thought they were crap and acctually had the balls to tell him that to his face.

About a year later I went to help set up a Big W store nearby (same town as the earlier interview) and thought I'd try applying there, after submitting my application I then worked under a department manager and spent most of the time showing him what to do. Second thoughts were creeping in by this time as I would be getting paid less than this twunt, the final straw came when the local paper got the date wrong for the opening and we were made to do the company song and dance bollocks in front of the main doors while several hundred people stood outside watching us and waiting to be disappointed as the store wasn't opening for another week.
(Lord of my Ring, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 22:24, Reply)

Underhand Tactics
I turned up for my first proper job interview (i.e. not shelf stacking) and was told to wait in an outer office whilst an interview before mine was finished. I sat in this office for forty minutes, chatting to the gorgeous middle aged blonde type writer jockey. Just as I start to complain about how long the other interview is taking, the lovely blonde shook me by the hand and asked when I could start.

Evil, evil tactics! There was no other interview! Still, I have never felt so relaxed, relieved and desperate to remember if I had incriminated myself.

She really is a great boss. (just in case she is reading this post)
( Spaniels Ears, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 21:45, Reply)

You can stick your job...
So I was a young second year student, seeking an industrial placement for my third year. I'd been invited to an interview at Lloyds TSB and decided to along as I had little success with all my other interviews. On arrival at their dumpy office in Wythenshawe, south Manchester, I noticed that this place was the dump of all dumps. A moleste steaming monument to dumpiness. I got a tour of the endless rows of cubicles filled with computers, alcoholics and grey spirits before being invited into 'the interview room' with the Manager and his colleague. This room was about 2 metres by 1 metre and now contained a desk, a computer, 3 chairs and the three of us. There was no air condioning and the manager was a very fat man. He was already slightly sweaty after nervously having to accept that he had completely forgotten I was coming for the interview that day. Needless to say, after 45 minutes of what seemed like days, trying to answer questions with an eager and professional attitude, the smell would have been unbearable. It would have been unbearable, if it had not been for the fact that I was so distracted by the manager's posture and composition - facing me, with legs wide apart, shirt untucked, dripping armpits, and one big boxer-wrapped bollock hanging out from where he had split his trousers.

I was offered the job and immediately concluded that the industrial placement wasn't for me and so opted out of the programme. It has also set me against banks... and work, in general. I have been eagerly seeking sustainable unemployment ever since.
(X, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 21:34, Reply)

banjo
my first interview after university (I got a desmond tutu in furniture design) was for a teen web portal called something like worldplop.com. they wanted designers who could also be online video jockies or some such bollocks. drove from manchester to bath at great speed, got changed in the car park and arrived at the door on time to the exact minute.

"where do you see yourself in five years?"

"i want to spread peace and love around the world using only a banjo."

got the job a week later.
( big daft dave, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 20:49, Reply)

"He is a very contentious worker"
This is a direct quote from an obviously fake reference produced by a piss-poor interview candidate as a last desperate gambit to assure success at the end of one of the worst interviews it has ever been my displeasure to conduct.
(hokkyokusei, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 19:55, Reply)

Mock Interview (Never had a real one!)
Mock Interview type thing i did a while back, can't remember why:

Q. Where do you see yourself in 5 year's time?
(Knowing full well this was a mock thing, and no well paid job was going to come out of it)
A. Sadly one of my few flaws is that I can't see into the future, so I can't answer that question
(Wibbly Pig, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 19:46, Reply)

Uni interview in a group to get into a graphic design course
We were asked what recent advertisement did we find graphically stimulating
I thought *Oh! Rathergood's Penguins!*
Someone said it.
*Oh the Cog advert!*
Someone said it..oh da...
"Which advertising campaign did you find graphically stimulating over the summer?"
"Um......that kitkat one with the greyhounds chasing the rabbit's nice..."
Must have impressed them, got in and here today!
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 19:11, Reply)

vodafone are cunts...
sorry for length :/

after leaving tesco for better money/prospects/dignity, i decided to apply for a job at a local vodafone callcentre. i applied through a recruitment agency, and proceeded to get a phonecall from said company. they asked whether or not i was comfortable doing a phone interview, where as i proceeded to tell them that you cannot judge a persons skills, personality and teamwork ability by listening to a voice at the other end of the phone - but yes, i will do the interview over the phone. he was silent for about 30 seconds, then carried on with the interview right there and then.

i didn't get the job, based on no call centre experience.

cue 6 months down the line, and i work at a 1st line technical support line for a certain cable broadband company. acquiring several certificates to say i am more than able to work in a callcentre, handle customers, type at a speed faster than the vodafone interviewer could wank and can provide exceptional information towards over-the-phone tech support, i reapplied for the vodafone job with no intention of working there.

the same guy picked up.
"have you applied for a job at vodafone before?"
"yes, i have"
"and what makes you believe that you can try for the job again?"
"well, this time i'm more qualified to do the job than you."

i proceeded to rinse out my semi-qualifications, to which after we finished the converstion. somehow after the last comment i made, i was accepted for the job, but told vodafone to shove their job up their arse for having no trust in anyone who doesn't have a pretty sheet of paper to show their skills.

fucking cunts.
(happyhardcoregabbatechno, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 18:52, Reply)

Not really the interview, the whole 24 hours!
Ok, 2 years ago I was getting through my interviews to get into uni. One day I worked till the evening to get my grade from an A to about an A by improving my sketchbook. My teacher told me to take it with me to tomorrows interview and he'll mark it when I get back.
So theres little ole me dragging my bloody great A1 portfolio and sketchbook outside college to get a taxi when along come thes chaving bastards, pull out my sketchbook dimanding £20. I couldnt chase them cause my portfolio was so bloody heavy.

So heartbroken i went home, reporting to the police which latter found it ripped to shreads a few days later.
Anyways, I had an interview the next day so I had to get up very early with puffy eyes to get a train from h'pool to lincon that took ages, drag portfolio to uni and go into interview room (the size of a cupboard). They kept asking about my back up work (the stuff that was nicked) and I felt a fool. oh and I asked many questions which the prospectus said were true.
"work experiance?" NOPE
"trips?" NOPE
what a shite uni. I was very peed off and went of to by a bitch bag before making the 4 or so hour journy home.

Bastards, got in but had no intention of going after that episode

Oh and one of my uni interviews after Id babled on ages about why i wanted to go to Northumbria university in Newcastle.
"what other reasons do you want to come here?"
"Um...the buildings are nice...?"

I didnt get in
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 17:51, Reply)

creative applicant
I once interviewed a very proper looking young lad for a customer service position. Reading his resume as I interviewed, I asked him about his “Part Time Ticket Sales, Self Employed” job. He told me that he bought tickets in batches, thereby bringing the price down, and then sold them at a profit. He described his marketing strategies, his focus on the customer, and his attention to detail with the accounting. Very industrious, I thought. There was a gap in employment of 4 years, which he explained he had spent getting his education. This was going very well, I was excited.

As I got to the bottom of the resume, I saw a BA from a California State school for those 4 years, but I had never heard of it. I wrapped up the interview, and asked him to wait in the lobby for a few moments. I called information and got the number – turns out the school is the state prison system (apparently you can earn degrees while there). I asked him back to my office, and pointed out to him that he had listed a prison as his school.

He nodded, and just looked back across my desk at me. I asked, “Were you imprisoned for something?”

He nodded. A little light bulb went off in the back of my very dense head as I realized that he was using the term ‘ticket’ very liberally. Trip Ticket. Drugs. Being an overly blunt recruiter type, I looked him right in the eye and asked, “Were you selling drugs?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“OK then. I think that was everything I needed.”

“OK.” And with that, he left. A part of me admires his strategy – he gave it a good try.
(jametcalf, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 17:30, Reply)

College interview
For some unknown reason I decided it would be wise to have an interview at the local tech college despite being guaranteed a place at the best sixth form in the country (and that's official y'all). It was possibly the worst interview I could ever have imagined.

After arriving at a dingy hole of a building (shortly to be demolished) and having walked past numerous shadowy characters and the college car park full of chavved-up Corsas, I had to wait for about forty minutes. The 'library' in which I sat consisted of a couple of shelves of aged books in a crumbling room with a climbing plant growing all around, and a picture of some deceased youth in the plant pot. They then decided that, in the absence of most of the candidates, they would 'interview' myself and someone else together. The interview consisted of an apologetic frustrated academic telling me that they didn't do the 'A' levels I wanted and weren't really very good at 'A' levels, but that they would love a few 'high-flyers' like me. Would I consider doing a GNVQ (Generally Not Very Quick) instead?

I went to the sixth form. Curiously, the technology college in question is actually excellent at its core subjects, and one of the best in the south.
(DoctorJ last upset some twat who doesn't like swearing on, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 16:16, Reply)

I was on summer break from University...
and I was home visiting friends where they were working at a grocery store. I was saying something about looking for work for the summertime, but I didn't want anything too serious. They told me that there may be an opening here at the shop. I went and seeked out the manager and he fired a few random questions at me and made me fill out a job application.

At the end of the interview I asked him if there were any jobs and he said that there wasn't any at the moment but if I waited a few minutes, that he'd go fire somebody and I could take their spot. I couldn't believe it!

I was still in shock about what he had just said when he got up and excused himself from the room. Since we were in his office during all of this and he had a set of windows that looked down on the whole store I could see that he walked out onto the sales floor and walked right up to one of the workers and pointed at the door. The worker said a few words and walked out.

The boss came back to me and said that there was now an opening and asked if I wanted it. I took it and walked down to the sales floor and got to work.

Appologize for length.
(Stone1295, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 15:57, Reply)

Where are you taking me?
Went for a position a few years back as a sales manager (no experience needed). Good, I have none and think I'll give it a shot. Turned up at the interview at nine in the morning in the centre of Glasgow. Waited a bit while in the background there was a noise from a boardroom like a chanting mantra (this was the sales class) and in the boardroom they were having a video conference with america in which they were whooping and hi-fiving like something from a bad 80's movie. Then it got worse. I was told that I would go with someone called scott and he would show what they do and I would come back later for the interview. I was bundled into scotts car who said that we were heading to see a company and I could hear his sales pitch. Fine. We ended up in Irvine, nearly an hours drive from Glasgow in an industrial estate. BIG bags were taken from the boot and we had to go round businesses selling manicure sets, foam disk guns and tickle me feckin elmo. My heart sank, i was miles from home, lost and no money. buggery bugger. This lasted all day till we had to be back in the office at 5:30pm were I was interview by Chad or Brad or something crap like that. If I was to get to the second interview I would be called back later that week. 5 minutes after leaving the phone went, can I come back at 9am tomorrow.

Fuck off you abducting bastards.

No company name, no nothing, just very strange and felt so so dodgy.

Would appologise for length and girth but its the only time I am endowed in it. :(
(Billy Sastard, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 15:40, Reply)

I went for my Cambridge interview
but chose to muck it up as I realised that I hated the place, plus I am dead cool. They would have blatantly accepted me if I'd tried but I couldn't be arsed. I ended up going to some wank university instead and I never regret my 'decision'.

I am also a lying twat.
( Spunkmeyer, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 15:19, Reply)

I had a couple of interesting interviewees
I received a letter from a recruitment company introducing the first one.
It said "Please do not be put off by his resemblance to Uncle Fester off the Addams Family".
And it was uncanny! As was the crowd of people wanting to see what he looked like.

The second case walked in to the interview room, sat down and said "Look I'm really hungry, do you mind getting me a cheese sandwich?"
And I was so taken aback, I went down the shop and bought one, and we both sat there in silence while he ate it.

Oh and there was a guy who insisted we called him Dr. Kaos (with a K), rather than his real name which I think was Steven.
( MartinH, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 15:18, Reply)

interviewing a couple of consultant engineers....
Picture the scene...

Got a few likely candidates for a bit of project work that's gonna need some nifty thinking and a good result.

First couple of consultants from a design firm...

Just before we sit down to the interview, I introduce them to the coffee machine.. a machine that has the most poor and idiotic automation routine known to man...
Me: "Look out for this one guys... It's automated in a bizzarre way, and is capable of squirting boiling coffee all over you if you forget to shove a cup in it first"
Them: "Yeah, we know, we designed that machine"
Me: Seriously? You are responsible for... THIS?
Them: Yup.

Turns out that they thought EVERYONE in the world would remember to put a cup down BEFORE hitting the buttons. Fekking Retards. Couldn't design thier way out of a wet carboard box.

OO-Faaaah-Vooo

EDIT: should Prolly point out that ALL coffee machines apart form this single one, dispense cups. Therefore, people are used to chattnig, hitting a button, and continuing thier conversation.... and then recieving hot coffee down the side of thier leg.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 25 Jan 2005, 15:03, Reply)

At my signal, unleash hell
Best question i was ever asked was "if you were a gladiator in the coleseum, would you choose a sword and sheild or trident and net"

I got my coat.
(Let's all have an asbo, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 14:57, Reply)

Drugs anyone?
Went to a job interview whilst working illegally in the UK - fortunately I am 100% legal now and in the god fearing job of Recruitment Consultant, this one however, still takes the cake.

INterview was for a role selling cleaning products over the phone. Sales Manager (24 yr old from Mexico) noticed that I had DJ as a hobby of mine. Asked what sort of music I played and when I replied Hard Trance, he then lowered his voice and mentioned he had a load of pills he wanted to offload and could I sell them at my next gig.....very good question indeed.

Did work there for 9 months though - happy crowd they were!
(essbeenz there done that, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 14:53, Reply)

Yeth I want Thith job
Interviewed a candidate who got the job. Initially turned it down as our office was opposite a cemetery and he feared being posessed by spirits. He called back the next day saying he'd changed his mind. So'd we by then.

Another candidate who came in a spectacular lisp and a Jonathon Woss impedement (for anyone outside UK, it's where you pronounce Road Woad etc). As per normal we'd sent him a copy of a brochure of some of the software we sold on behalf of other companies before the interview and asked him to choose a product to do a presentation on. Unfortunately he chose our Risk Assessor programme. Me and my boss had to sit there for half an hour listening to the merits of Wisk Athethor, Health & Thafety and the Control of Thubthanthes Hazrdoth to Health amongst others....... made by the company Vithual Bithneth Tooolth
(Let's all have an asbo, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 14:41, Reply)

'worst job' interview
loot. no pretence - you know who you are you cranberries.

nothing went wrong on the train to kilburn. got to the interview on time.

despite being straight out of uni and with no sales experiecne whatsoever, they gave me the job.

worst position i ever had. wish id gone in drunk or something - would have saved me ten months of soul destroying cold calling .
(magictorch, Tue 25 Jan 2005, 14:30, Reply)

I applied to Sheffield University...
...turned up at the hospital where they were holding the interviews. Walk into room with other hopefuls, most dressed in suits or smart dresses (women were similarly attired). Apart from one who was in jeans and t-shirt with a bit of what I can only hope was dried egg down the front of his t-shirt.

Anyhoo, I got interviewed directly after the inbred one. I could tell how the interview was going to go as when I walked in the interviewer said "well, now we've interviewed the missing genetic link, we can get on with a serious candidate." Ah!

After about 5 minutes of general bullshitting questions, the interviewer said "so I see you are in the air cadets. Fantastic, I am a civilian instructor at XXXX squadron." Spent the next half hour talking about aeroplanes and the new Vigilant glider etc. When I got up at the end of the interview, he said "I don't think you need to worry about having to get high grades in your A-levels, mate. I think we will accept you whatever!"

WOOHOOO!!!!

Get a letter from UCAS through the post 2 weeks later. C'mon you little beauty!

"Dear Mr Carrot. We regret to inform you that due to budget cuts, your course will not be run this year. May we offer you a place on our radiography course instead."

Er...how about no?
CNUTS!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Tue 25 Jan 2005, 14:24, Reply)