KarmaSue Denham writes, "I once slipped out of work two hours early without the boss noticing. In my hurry to make the most of this petty victory, I knocked myself out on the car door and spent the rest of the day semi-conscious, bowking rich brown vomit over my one and only suit."
Have you been visited by the forces of Karma, or watched it happen to other people?
Thanks to Pooflake for the suggestion
(
chthonic, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 14:24)
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The joys of childhood - sorry about lengthSo I had this particularly horrible teacher when I was about 8, one of those ones who was around for corporal punishment and was none-too-happy about the change. So she always had the attitude that the little buggers in her class were all conspiring to fake sickness to get off doing adding and subtracting so each time a child would present with a complaint the following would occur:
10am
Pupil: Miss, I don't feel well.
Teacher: Well, we'll just wait til morning break and see how you are.
Morning break
Pupil: Miss, I really don't feel well.
Teacher: We'll just leave it til lunch and see how you are.
Lunch
Pupil: Sorry miss, but I think I'm sick
Teacher: Ah well, it's nearly hometime now anyway, sure you're fine.
And we would spend the afternoon feeling like general crap while she gave out to us for being distracted from the five times tables by our pain.
So one day I'm feeling like absolute crap, stomach is doing ninety on Space Mountain with some kind of extra dimension thrown in. So we did the usual deal until just before lunch, when the following happened:
Me: Miss, I'm really bad, my tummy feels sick.
Teacher: Well, like I said we'll wait til lunch now sit down.
Me: But miss, I think I need to go home.
Teacher (beginning to shout right in my tiny green-tinged face): I told you to sit down! Now do as I say or you'll stand in the corner!
Now I was a timid little child and didn't usually answer back but as I was feeling so awful that I said I'd take one last crack at it.
Me: But miss-
Teacher: That's it, you go to the corner!!!
Me: Projectile vomit noises
Yes, that's right, I spewed up my breakfast (semi-digested cornflakes and toast) and my morning snack (ham sandwich and apple juice) all over her desk, the blackboard, a few of the desks up the front of the class room and most importantly on her hideous, self-righteous, wart ridden face.
My class mates and I got to sit at the back of the classroom and watch her clean it all up.
The beauty of it was that I got sick because I'd eaten too much for breakfast so that meant that not only was there a lot more vomit than there would have been but also I felt grand after I'd thrown up and so was able to fully enjoy my accomplishment.
Length: About eight rolls of toilet paper and a full bottle of Jif.
(, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 1:07, 3 replies)
Haha...That's bloody brilliant that is. They always threw sawdust down on our piles of puke.
Glad they thought to have a teacher handy to absorb it!
(, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 3:56, closed)
I had a teacher like this.made me sit in the classroom all day, scratching (and being told off for it). I had german measles! Mum made a complaint, but it didn't change her.
(, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 10:51, closed)
Ace!Same thing happened at my school, only Mr Mason wouldn't let Dave Crisp gp to the toilet, despite frequent hysterical pleading. He shat watery poo all over his chair and the floor, which Mr Mason then had to spend his lunch break cleaning up.
More power to you and your, erm, vomitty elbow...
(, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 18:08, closed)
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