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This is a question "Needless to say, I had the last laugh"

Celebrity autobiographies are filled to the brim with self-righteous tales of smug oneupmanship. So, forget you had any shame, grab a coffee and a croissant, and tell us your smug tales of when you got one over somebody.

Thanks to Ring of Fire for the suggestion

(, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 12:55)
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Another 'school-aged' 1
Gaylord (his initial, surname minus a letter and added one on the end) was a bully who made my life a misery for a couple of years at boarding school - he used to pour my shampoo/toiletries onto my bed while I was away on a visit to home amongst many other physical/emotional torments; decided with his mate Downer to set a fire in the local supermarket's toilets. Que?
Suffice to say - cops and fireys in attendance. They got expelled @ the end of year 10. Waving goodbye to him a few weeks before school finished knowing that I'd never have to see him again due to his own stupidity (I didn't dob, he bragged!) was Really. Fucking. Satisfying.
FFW about 6 years - a drunk,drug-fucked,gothy me was staggering home when him and his mate picked me up for a hitch. Gaylord couldn't believe it was me and soon the 'fun' started. I got them to drop me round the corner from my mum's place, said "Thanks", punched him in the face and calmly walked off. If he hasn't claimed a Darwin Award (ohh the ironing) he should do soon.
Thanks for the lift Gaylord.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:17, 26 replies)
By "boarding school"
do you mean "Young Offenders' Institution"?
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:23, closed)
Nup.
Mummy had a good job and gave a shitload of money to a dodgy bunch of wankers to try and educate me. Hmm...
Institutions came a bit later. ;)
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:25, closed)
Now it sounds like you were schooled in a bordello...

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:26, closed)
Well known
private all-boys boarding/day school located near the Swan River in Perth, Western Australia.
Taught me that I should look people in the eye when I shake their hand and that's about it. But I'm sure my mum thought it was money well spent.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:32, closed)
oh, i bet g. taylor felt totally pwnd after THAT victory.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:32, closed)
Wrong
again. Keep guessing tho...
Night all btw.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:38, closed)
i would, but on reflection i find that i don't care.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:14, closed)
George
Aylford?
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 16:10, closed)
Do I need even ask the model of the car?

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:17, closed)
Wow you have proved yourself an hero.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:21, closed)
So your story is 'I assaulted someone who did me a good turn when I was in a vulnerable state?'

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:43, closed)
BUT HE HAD BEEN MEAN TO HIM BEFORE, ONCE.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 15:44, closed)
HE PUT SHAMPOO
IN HIS BED!!!!!!!
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 13:04, closed)
By 'fun' I meant shit & agro on their part.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 22:51, closed)
Ironically, Gaylord was driving a Honda Accord.

(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 16:45, closed)
Ironing ?
You should get someone to take it in for you
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 17:45, closed)
Riiiight...
And of course, the fact that you stayed in school meant you emerged from there as a mature, well-rounded, literate and patient individual.

Or not.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 19:29, closed)
Why yes, yes of course.
Tee-hee. *Snigger*
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 7:10, closed)
So you're a drunk, druck-fucked violent wannabe vampire? And a Tarquin to boot?
Wow, what a winner YOU must be.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 22:09, closed)
Surprisingly
as time has passed some physical and emotional changes have manifested themselves within and of me.
In a pinch I'd describe myself as a fat, bald heavy drinker. I see we're around the same age too. Goody for us. I feel that my win quotient is rather high actually.
How about you?
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 23:23, closed)
So, what you're saying by physical and emotional changes is this:
You wouldn't actually be able to punch someone in the face these days without getting a good kicking in return. So instead you boast on the internet about physically assaulting someone years back who'd done you a good turn because he'd been mean to you once upon a time.
Well done you.
The only times I've ever hit anyone, other than in training, have been in self-defence.
I think you still come out as a prick in this one.
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 1:14, closed)
I take it you missed the
"amongst many other physical/emotional torments" & "who made my life a misery for a couple of years" lines & since you seem to have taken the "explaining it slowly to a gimboid" pov I'll elucidate.
Most of the physical torments involved sly, surreptitious kicks, trips and punches which I quickly learned to ignore as he would quite often engineer them so as to be right in front of a teacher so that if I did react either I would be seen as "whingey dobber" (tell-tale) or he would be seen as the victim when I popped him one. He even punched me in the face a couple of times to try to goad me into fighting him and then getting busted - the look on his face when I simply didn't react was worth the blood nose.
The psychological attacks were much more pervasive and usually centered on the idea that the dead man whom I thought was my father (another tale for another time) had chosen to die a horrible death rather than go thru the shame of having me for a son.
I mentally look myself up and down in my "self-evaluation mirror" and... my conscience is clear. If you chose to think I'm a prick then bully for you.
EDIT: "the good turn" you speak of involved him telling his mate how he used to hassle & beat the shit out of me and then trying to intimidate me by suggesting how dangerous it was to hitch (which I didn't, they stopped to pick me up as I toddled home) If anything you could chastise me for knowing better than to get into a car with strangers, but I've made it this far haven't I?
As to the whether I could give as good as I might get I don't know (thankfully) - I did aikido & judo for many years when I was a kid & altho I don't train I haven't forgotten how. I keep moderately fit (yoga, walking, sports with the kids etc.) but as I'm sure you'll concur - I don't look for trouble & at any age group anyone who does (no matter how fit) is a bit wrong. I remember my 1st aikido lesson - speak softly and carry a big stick, way of love blah, blah BUT have strong legs to run away quickly.
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 5:34, closed)
Awww, poor you.
See, when I was growing up, most schools had plenty of secluded places where kids could fight out of view and earshot of teachers. Now I only went to my local primary school and a bog-standard comprehensive rather than a fancy boarding school, but I'd imagine that it would be set in it's own grounds and therefore have plenty more places than the schools I went to where you could meet your nemesis and batter the living fuck out of each other. But then I'm working class, all our fighting at school was done in quiet corners of the playgrounds during breaktimes (Behind the outdoor toilet blocks was one favourite), or in the fields or park on the way home.
Waiting years and THEN sneakily hitting him, like a coward, after he'd done you a favour is what marks you as being as much a prick as him.
EDIT: Nice edit though. I'll give you the benefit by editing this in bold
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 5:51, closed)
Bring socio-economics into it. Wow.
"He even punched me in the face a couple of times to try to goad me into fighting him and then getting busted - the look on his face when I simply didn't react was worth the blood nose." I had my share of fights @ school (most of which I didn't start). I trod a thin line at that school (not because of fighting) so I really couldn't afford to get into too much trouble - which he knew.
Please see the bit about "the good turn". Trust me there was nothing sneaky about how I hit him - he knew it was coming. But as I've said he was the 1 trying to instigate something and intimidate me.
Sorry - conscience is still crystal clear.
Apologies for replying to myself.
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 6:02, closed)
"being as much a prick as him."
I'll cop that.
(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 6:03, closed)
If you wanted this to be understood
then you should have explained better at the start.

It reads as if the guy used to tease you a bit, put shampoo in your bed whilst you weren't in it (NOOOO), and then you laughed at him being expelled then punched him in the chops.

It did not sound good.

Next time you tell a story you might explain the context better.

Your replies are defensive as well. Woof!
(, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 14:27, closed)

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