Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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Late comingA long time ago, I had a top boss, who pretty much let me and the guys get away with murder. One day after a heavy night out, where upon I pulled this cracking German blond who was dirty as hell (And I mean DIRTY!!!!). Of course took her home did the nasty with her and passed out. Woke up the next morning looked over thought oh yeh, she's cracking, day off work me thinks to carry on shagging this cracking bird, so I phoned in sick.
Me: Sorry Justin, I won't be in today, not feeling at all well, got a bug or something.
Justin: Bollocks you lying bastard, I heard about that blond you pulled last night, I bet she's giving you a blowjob right now.
Me: Well... Yeh she is. (And she was to, the dirty bitch)
Justin: Ok mate, have a good time, give her one from me and I'll see you tomorrow.
Now thats a top boss.
Apologies for length, but she couldn't finish me off quick enough
(, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 15:02, Reply)
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