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This is a question Letters they'll never read

"Apologies, anger, declarations of love, things you want to say to people, but can't or didn't get the chance to." Suggestion via reducedfatLOLcat.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 13:56)
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Dear Mr Gordon Ramsay
Dear Sir,

I am a six foot, 110Kg Vegan.
In the past I have been a rugby and American Football player.
My current hobbies include the Martial form of T'ai Chi.

I would dearly love to meet you in a boxing ring, and pummel your wrinkly sack-of-shite face to a tender medallion.

Yes we are all weak and feeble

Lots of love

Andy

XX
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:09, 45 replies)
Any room for a meat-eater?
And no, it's not a gay chat-up line.

I'm sure you could finish him off (God this is sounding rather camp, isn't it), but if there's anything left of that twat (that's better) I'd quite happily kick the remaining life out of him.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 8:55, closed)
If you'd have eaten meat you would have been 7'2''

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:09, closed)
And have the strength to learn a decent martial art.

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:34, closed)
^that
Tai Chi is for shirters.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:54, closed)
Fucking right it is.

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:14, closed)

Have you watched 'Mind, Body and Kick-ass moves' ever?
Pretty sure everyone who has ever done serious Martial arts would disagree with you.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:32, closed)
Given your size, I bet you struggle to fit into your Honda Accord.

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:51, closed)
As an aside....
...I have watched Mind Body and Stupid Poncy Brummie Shirtlifting, and I've also done a bit of training in a few types, and that program illustrates everything that is bad and cliched about martial arts.

" This bloke has spent years learning how to direct mystical chi energy into his thorax and now he can throw his thorax out on a special tendon and use it to induce incontinence in assailants by hitting a special pressure point that indescribably only seems to work when he tries it on his own students or when the cameras arn't here".

Bollocks, just punch him.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:52, closed)
as another aside
good call, the program is meant to appeal to a wide audience. But every now and again there is good stuff. Chris Crudeli (sp) has taken a step back from TV stuff and is now teaching Military Special forces, You would have to admit you wouldn't want to mess, lol.

but Qi-Jong is the basis for most Chinese martial arts - Wushu, Kung Fu etc.
If you look at the T'ai Chi forms and compare them to the more martial styles, the moves are identical.

This reply could develop into one of those wonderful IMDB threads along the Movie Martial Artist 1 is harder than Movie Martial Artist 2 because.

The bottom line is any Martial system is going to produce good fighters, As well as people who are in it for the wrong reasons.

Arguing that one is better than another is like arguing that Blur are better than Oasis - Ultimately pointless.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:44, closed)
Agreed....
...a good martial artist would generally be capable in any style, while a useless tosser is equally appalling no matter what (as I believe I have proven in my life so far).

As far as movie stars - do we really need to go any further than Chuck Norris?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 12:18, closed)
Agreed.
Both Blur and Oasis were fucking shit.
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 0:02, closed)
Here's a thought
Were you vegan all your life? because your build and muscle structure is pretty much dictated by your first maybe 15 years on this planet.

Not wanting to piss on your mungbeans, like. As if it would change the taste.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:14, closed)
Tread carefully MB, they don't respond well to this kind of line.

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:14, closed)
This explains why
going to the gym doesn't make you fit, and eating chips doesn't effect your weight.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:34, closed)
Of course it does.
But you can't change your bone structure by eating, now can you? and your build depends on this. You can increase the amount of muscle, sure, but that won't change your build. The gym and eating won't change you from a thin man into a brick shithouse. You'd need to be genetically programmed to be a brick shithouse and then not to damage to your body during your development stages to actually achieve it.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:42, closed)
Uh huh.
Also, you seem to think you're arguing against the original poster, and in favour of Gordon Ramsay's implied view.

In fact your view, if true, would support the original poster in his contention that there's nothing stopping you being vegan & muscly, and against the idea that being vegan makes you weedy.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:03, closed)
no it doesn't
I'm asking if he was vegan all his life, since your build is mostly down to genetics and your early life. Since he wasn't vegan until his thirties, he can hardly claim his muscle bulk is down to veganism. More that it exists in spite of it.

I'm not particularly "arguing" either way, actually. I'm just making a related point.

I don't particularly like Ramsay, and sweeping statements like that are dodgy if serious. It is possible to be healthy on a vegan diet. Possible. Not easy. Iron is almost impossible to get on a vegan diet, for instance, without supplements. B vitamins must almost all come from supplements. All of those are pretty crucial for muscle and blood development. If you want to do that to yourself as an adult, that's your lookout, but to a child, it would be dangerous.
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 9:01, closed)

There are numerous vegetable Iron sources.
Most of us will take supplements, but Marmite and breakfast cereals are good sources of vitamins too.

but I would suggest that a look at the Vegan Society website is useful

Iron is not the hardest nutrient to get as a Vegan.

www.vegansociety.com/lifestyle/nutrition/iron.aspx

Plus being a UK site it's a lot less shouty and preachy than It's US cousins :)

There is no accurate way to assess whether a meat diet would have affected me in a positive or negative way.
But, If you look at my Carnivorous Father and Mother they are considerably Smaller and less 'massive' than Me.
Both have had medical problems before they were 40.
My Dad had his first Heart attack before 40

at his peak of his success Carl Lewis was a Vegan, but he may well be a vegetarian now. That is a spectacular advert for the lifestyle
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 19:25, closed)

nah, Vegetarian from 11, Vegan for the last 3 years, now 41.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:33, closed)
Why are you being so voilent? He hasn't done anything bad to you at all.
This is a terrible thing, are you hormonally imbalanced?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:24, closed)
look at this
fucking hippie.


(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 9:32, closed)
Could he get any camper? He may not be a hippie but he looks like a raving bender.
EDIT and you've posted this pic before. You fancy him doncha?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:15, closed)

not like me at all.
I don't own any weights
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:37, closed)
Go on, admit it......
....you have the occasional scotch egg. Or bacon buttie. I've never met a podmuncher who didn't have the occasional fleshfest when they thought no one was looking.

Also, eating animals has two unique positive points: One, they're damn tasty - much more so than the root based alternatives. Two, if you keep the head you can arrange it's little face into an adoring look of gratitude and have it stare up worshipfully at you while you munch on it's griddled remains.

Now I have the meat-wood, so excuse me while I accost a butcher.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:06, closed)

lol,

There is a name for people who have the occasional scotch egg, or Bacon sandwich - 'Not a Vegetarian'.
Another of my pet peeves.

it's like saying 'I don't drink, except for a bottle of vodka a day.'
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:36, closed)
He he! I actually.....
....had a flatmate who was a vegetarian for moral rather than imaginary medical reasons, but she ate scotch eggs and the occasional bacon sandwich. When I quizzed her on this, she told me she ate the bacon sandwiches because they were so good and she couldn't help herself, and the scotch eggs because that stuff around the egg was 'just some sort of wheaty stuff, isn't it?'

As a vegan, if you accidentally swallow a fly do you weep for it's little insecty life? If not, why not simply scale it up to a cow?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:46, closed)

once you disregard all of the teen-aged rebellion types, and the f'sking idiots there are some valid moral reasons for doing it
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:03, closed)
Well if you're going to get moralistic
Then surely you can't condone violence - to an annoying celebrity chef or otherwise?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:46, closed)

The thread surely includes things that will never happen?

Plus I don't want to eat the guy, just meet up for some well regulated sporting fun :)

He perpetuates an inaccurate stereotype - The weak Vegetarian. And does so in very disparaging terms.
Something worth believing in is surely worth defending?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:51, closed)
And women find him inexplicably attractive...
....considering his face looks the same as when you grab your willie and push all the foreskin off the end like a little pink rose.

I guess if you can knock up an omelette, have millions of pounds, and ensure that in every TV show you ever do they'll be a shot of you bare chested for a second before slipping on a chef's jacket then looks suddenly become a secondary factor.

I find the obligatory bare chested shot a bit odd to be honest. It never cuts to Handy Andy just finishing tucking his cock away after a slash while talking about how to fix architrave does it?
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 12:25, closed)
So you'd like to 'pummel his wrinkly sack', eh?

(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:20, closed)
Errrrrr.....
......I don't know? Depending on the context, probably not, on balance.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 10:41, closed)
i'll just leave this here...


(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:47, closed)

lol

you forgot 'your gay', best ever internet come-back
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:58, closed)
If you ate properly...
... you probably wouldn't have anger issues. There is no such thing as a healthy vegan. Mental or physical illess - something is going to give.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:18, closed)

I'm pretty chilled and happy.
Have an awesome Partner, a great family and job.
All in all I am happy with just about everything.
Got a clean bill of health at the last check up too.

There is a very angry feel about all your replies.

My original point is that Gordon Ramsay has on numerous occasions stated that vegetarians are weak and feeble.
I would love the opportunity to express exactly how wrong he is.
0
6 foot and 18 stone does not score too well on BMI graphs, but it is fairly normal for rugby playing types. I still wear off the peg jeans - 36 inch waist if you really want to know.

Still, I am serious about taking your bet.

It has been pointed out that Jeremy Clarkson is a bit derogatory about Us too, but he makes me laugh (in an 'I know I shouldn't' kind of way).
(, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 1:06, closed)
Hooray! Give him a thwack from me.
Me being a very bouncy, happy, but slightly chubby, vegetarian.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:53, closed)
Also...
110kg? You fat bastard! Even after three-and-a-half decades of munching all the pies, and two decades of topping them off with copious amounts of ale, I have hovered around the 100kg mark and mostly just below at 95kg. Perhaps that's because I spend at least two days a week hauling antenna components that weigh as much as a small car engine up tower blocks, I don't know.

You're obese, and I'm not. Nyaah.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 18:39, closed)

lol, I can tense 85% of my body up at will - the other 15% does it on its own
(, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 0:18, closed)
Yeah...
Whatever you say, fatso. I could pick you up and carry you up 24 flights of stairs. Can you?
(, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:36, closed)

Did a scary fat man touch little Gordon once?

I have been thinking - I'll take that bet.

It is worth driving for an hour or two to be carried up 24 flights of stairs.

I live in Bristol.
If you live within a hundred miles or so, name the place
(, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 23:57, closed)
I cannot tense 85% of my body up at will.
This has yet to prove a problem in my life so far.

Alternatively, 'I'll bet Will loves it, lol'
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 0:06, closed)
Doesn't matter how big you are
It's not the size of the dog in the fight.........
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zhQb_nkR0U
(, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 10:26, closed)
Why all the hostility?
- 6ft and 18st isn't obese if you're muscular.
- Vegetarians can be just as fit and healthy as us meat-eaters - they just have to work harder at it if they want to get the same nutrition.
- T'ai Chi may not be recognised as a popular style to base a martial art on, but having practiced karate for the last 36 years, I would say that poise and confidence will beat an opponent of similar strength every time.

Surely we should be forgetting our differences about who eats meat and who doesn't, and come together in our communial hatred of Gordon Ramsay?
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:00, closed)

agreed all round - Except I did say the Martial form of T'ai chi, cos I thought it would be clearer than saying Chen style etc. My Sword form needs some work :) but I'll go against anyone in a pushing, or pushing hands match.
Kung-Fu, Wushu - all are T'ai chi.

Plus at no point did I say I was a master, in reply to an earlier post - perhaps in 10-15 years or so
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:47, closed)

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