I really did lose it
...a full-on mental breakdown, about 15 years ago. But don't worry, this isn't going to be a wallow in self-pity, nor an inspirational tale of overcoming trauma. Just a description of one of the more entertaining symptoms...

You see, I started to receive messages, on TV, radio, newspapers, advertising billboards, the sides of buses, anywhere. Personal messages, specifically aimed at me, explicitly connected to what was going on in my head.

Thankfully, I remained aware enough to understand that this wasn't real. But the thing is, that's an intellectual knowledge, not an emotional one; however much I knew it, I couldn't stop them happening, or shake the feeling - the searing, white-hot mania-fueled belief - that they were real.

I have to say it's the oddest sensation, feeling that the universe is talking directly to you. Kind of scary, but also kind of comforting - after all, you must be pretty important if these powerful forces are focused on you!

It was also strange enough to tip me off that something was seriously wrong, and would need to be addressed. This wasn't just Post-Modern angst, or self-indulgent whining; this was time to call for help.

In the long run, the breakdown was the best thing that ever happened to me; I recommend them to anyone.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 14:45, 16 replies)

That’s interesting, knowing that they’re definitely not real and definitely real at the same time.

My mum’s a paranoid Schizophrenic, and it’s that ‘centre of the universe’ thing that gets her. She really believes that there’s legions of people out their with nothing more important to do than spend their time trying to ‘get her’.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 14:54, closed)

Is this the thing where you think of something and it seems to appear on the telly, etc?
I read a study of that once. It turns out there's a reason for this. It's to do with how the mind processes things and (I think, if I remember correctly) how long it takes thoughts to reach our conscious mind, and can even be replicated.

When you see something your mind takes it in and then your conscious self becomes aware of it. There are people who see things, their mind takes it in, passes it to their conscious self, and then they see it. So it appears as if they've thought of something and it appears.

They replicated it with video games. A little flying plane game, I think it was. They had it so that when the person flying the plane pressed to move it, the plane moved. Then they put a delay on it, so that when they pressed to move it it moved after a second. They adjusted to this. Then the people put it back to happening normally again but because the mind was used to the delay it seemed as if the plane moved almost before they went to move it, as if it knew to move.

Really interesting! I'd love to find it again. Get my facts straight and have another read.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 14:59, closed)

I think that's along similar lines to how deja vu works
Something goes immediately into your long-term memory instead of short-term, and thus you get the feeling of having experienced it before.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:09, closed)

this seems likely
but I've had some bouts of deja vu where it's not like I've experienced what's happening before, but that I've imagined it or thought of it before, and many many years before at that. Even to the point of thinking at the time "I don't know someone called " and things like that.

Really weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 16:59, closed)

I get that too.
I think it means you're crazy.
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 20:20, closed)

How about when
You say something and then someone on the telly/radio says the same thing? (Or you read something and then someone who's in the room with you says the same thing, etc.). I would be curious to find an explanation for this.
(bat_fudgie, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:57, closed)

Coincidence.
Sometimes things happen by chance; and you're more likely to notice it when the song in your head is on the radio than when it isn't.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 16:41, closed)

people greatly underestimate the power of coincidence

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 16:57, closed)

Spot on.
You read/think/see millions and millions of things, every now and again two things are bound to coindide and of course you notice it and it feels weird.

But it would actually be weirder if it never happened at all. Although you wouldn't notice that it was weird.

I didn't explain that very well.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 17:13, closed)

How interesting.
If you don't mind my asking (do tell me to fuck off if you'd rather) - what were the messages? Scary? Funny? Insightful?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:10, closed)

Well, they weren't telling me to murder my family, so that was a relief
The simplest way to put it was that the messages were trying to tell me how to interpret some of the stuff that I was struggling with in my head.

And this was the point: they were extremely specific; not general stuff like "The end of the world is nigh" or "you are God", but references to people, places and events that were personal to me.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:33, closed)

Dammit...
If the universe was talking to me, and all it did was remind me not to forget people's birthdays, I'd be a bit disappointed.

Nice story, btw.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:51, closed)

Panic attacks are similar.
Logically you know there is nothing to worry about but your body just takes over and goes off into the symptoms.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:19, closed)

oh god this.
/lolmental
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 15:43, closed)

i sufferd with panic attacks for about 6 monthes about 1988 ish
came on with no warning and stopped thankfully just as fast but the panic attacks them selfs were scary at first as in no control of the body scary but after a few i learned to accept it was happening and to try and relax and it would then finish quicker, with a little practice you can be on the outside looking into your self while this is going on and i say enjoy the experience but there is always the little frisson of doubt that this time it will be worse.
i didnt need any meds to control the attacks and never found out what started them or what finished them but they taught me a lot about the power of the human mind that i still put in to practice
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 18:00, closed)

Ditto
Sucks, doesn't it?
(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Sat 23 Jul 2011, 22:46, closed)