A mate of mine decided to smuggle drugs into a festival up his jacksie
The original package was small and humble. But greed got the better of him; he kept thinking, "Hmm, better add a bit more, don't want to run out", until the package was approximately the size and shape of a pregnant narwhal.

Watching him attempting to walk nonchalantly past the sniffer dogs, while feeling like he was being buggered by Hagrid's hulking hard-on, was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Sweat was pouring down his face, every step generated a tiny whimper, and he was turning a delicate shade of greenish-purple. How he didn't get huckled is a mystery to this day, but he made it in, and just managed to get to the portaloo. Cue more rolling around laughing at the groans coming from within.

Strangely, no-one wanted to share his stash - at least, no-one who knew him.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 21 Sep 2010, 11:38, 1 reply)

Click for alliteration.
(bergec is filled with inertia, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 18:06, closed)