I'm probably a bit too horrible to my Nan
But it's all smiles at the end of the day. On her sixtieth birthday, when I was about thirteen, we were all having a nice family game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. Which was entertaining for all of ooh... five minutes? Something had to give.

A quick explanatory aside- said donkey had been stuck to the door to the cupboard under the stairs, and had a very quiet door handle.

So whilst my poor Gran is blindfolded and being span around to disorient her good and proper, I crept forward, and opened the door, and in she walked. And then I closed the door again.

How three generations of a family kept from giggling I will never know. I'm pretty damn sure that my Nan is the only person to ever try playing pin the tail on the washing machine though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 23:11, 8 replies)

I like this.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:51, closed)

I'm still phoning Esther Rantzen though.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:51, closed)

Check the details of the Will because I'm pretty sure the old girl will have the last laugh.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 8:59, closed)

To my favourite grandson
I leave this:

See the £350 grand I left to your sister? Ask her to buy a good sized house with it, make sure it has a large cupboard under the stairs. Maybe she'll let you sleep there, you little fucking twerp.

Love, Nan.
(username failed moderation, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 10:41, closed)

Hahahaha like you could get a decent-sized house for £350k.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 13:14, closed)

You haven't been watching
homes under the hammer, have you?

Lucy Alexander. Would you? I can never decide. She's a bit podgy, but hmm . . . Dunno. I think probably I would.
(username failed moderation, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 14:13, closed)

I'd certainly put her home under my hammer!
By which I mean I'd like to have sexual intercourse with her.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Jan 2012, 14:26, closed)

Spoken like a man
driven to hammer his own nail.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 1:16, closed)