I'm not Peter!!!!
* Ring-ring *

"Hello."

"Is that Peter?" It was a woman's voice, one I don't recognise.

"No, sorry, I think you have the wrong number." This was true as my name was most definitely not Peter and, surprisingly, still isn't.

"Peter! That's not very nice, is it? I know it's you. Why haven't you called?"

"Probably because I'm not Peter."

This carried on for a while. I could not convince the woman she had the wrong bloke. Eventually, I did what I should have done right at the beginning and put the phone down. She rang again a few minutes later but I put the phone down again.

About half an hour or so later on, she rang again. She just had time to say, "Peter! It's my husband. I told him." before the phone was snatched out of her hand.

"You've been shagging my missus."

I wish I had thought of a better answer but I was sick of the pair of them by this time so I answered with the truth.

"No, I'm not Peter and besides I'm gay," I said and put the phone down.

I often wonder what happened next.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 13:35, Reply)