When I worked in a large nightclub in Blackpool
a guy came to the bar and asked if we sold pills. I said "yes, they are on offer - only £1."
He asked for 4 of them, so I got 4 bottles of Holsten Pills from the fridge. He laughed and gave me a fiver. Then he said "Not them sort of pills - the other sort of pills."
So I pointed him towards a big bloke in a suit in the corner. He left his bottles on the counter and walked over to the bloke in the suit. He spoke into his ear, then there was a bit of banter then BAM! the bloke in the suit threw him out of the fire door - head first. The guy in the suit was the head doorman. I re-capped the pills and put them on ice for the end of the night.
Job well done.

edit: Just remebered another one when working in the same club.

There had been a national deaf and dumb conference (sorry if that is not what it's called) in Blackpool, so there were lots of deaf people in the nighclub. A nice young lady came to the bar and said "Bat-watz-er". I politely said to her "sorry we don't sell Budweiser". Then again she said "Bat-watz-er". And I again told her we didn't sell burweiser. Then she said louder, "Bat-watz-er!", and I told her we didn't sell it. This went on a couple more times, getting louder each time. I got fed up of being polite, so I got a piece of paper from the back of the bar and a marker pen and wrote:

WE DON'T SELL BLOODY BUDWEISER!

she grabbed the pen off me, turned the paper over and wrote:

GOOD FOR YOU! BUT I WANT A BOTTLE OF WATER!

I felt this big
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( swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Mon 10 Oct 2005, 11:38, Reply)