Scarred
A few months back several mates and myself were at a student bar getting a few too many beers in, as students in student bars tend to do. We were sitting round a particularly large table chatting (I would love to say we were discussing the current state of the global economy or some sophisticated issue but it was probably about shagging, but I digress) and one particular chap, who we will name Dan for the purpose of the story, was texting on his mobile phone. He finishes the text, places his mobile on the table, and shuffles off to the gentleman’s room to take a leak.

Spying the phone left foolishly on the table, a second member of the group, my housemate Matt, grabbed it grinning like a Cheshire Cat, and after a brief twiddle with some of the buttons, replaced it back on the table with a smug look in his eye. Assuming he had found some gem of a text in the inbox, I settled back in my chair waiting for some sort of hilarious find to be revealed.

Dan returned several minutes later, looking somewhat lighter and relieved, picked up his phone, put it in his pocket, and the conversations continued (still talking about shagging no doubt). A few moments later, Dan fished his phone out of his pocket and began reading a text. Suddenly his face drained and he quickly shut his phone, looking decidedly nauseous.

“What’s wrong mate?” We ask, concerned for our friends wellbeing.
“Ummm…” Dan hesitated “Just got a text saying “looking forward to your big cock inside me again this weekend.” That’s all I read before I deleted it... It was from my Mum.”

Cue uproarious laughter, name calling, and all the usual mature reactions you can expect from such a revelation. Dan at this point was looking rather pale. The phone went off again. Picking it up and taking a deep breath, he looked at what it had to say.

“Sorry Dan wrong number! Please don’t tell Dad, will explain later. Love Mum.”

Suffice to say the rest of the night consisted of ripping into Dan and his mother, which everyone enjoyed immensely, except for Dan who was pretty pissed off at this stage and was looking like he would rather be in a Soviet Gulag than trapped in a bar with us lot.







As we were walking home I asked Matt what he had found on the phone that made him grin so much.
“Found?” Enquired Matt, “I didn’t find anything. I just put my number into his phonebook and stored it as his Mum’s. Then sent him a couple of cheeky texts…”
I wish I could have seen the next meeting of Dan and his Mum, Dan waiting for his Mum to drop the bombshell and his Mum not having a clue about the whole thing…

Length? Well apparently it was big enough for her...
(xerophytic has no idea, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:07, 6 replies)

Oh wow!
Fucking spectacular!

*click*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:14, closed)

Wow
There certainly seem to be a lot of instances of this sort of thing happening. Scary.

*puts PIN on phone while clicking*
(richardm, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:24, closed)

Fantastic!
clicks a-plenty....cant wait to try this out
(MudButton does not mean to offend but......, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:42, closed)

I do declare this
QOTW answer to be full of WIN!

*click*
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 15:42, closed)

lol :)
*clickity click*
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:23, closed)

So,
this is what passes for humour nowadays does it?


I'm sure you'd join in the laughter if it happened to you.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 17:11, closed)