I'm honestly not proud of myself for this
And I am fully aware I may get a verbal shanking from many a b3tan but what the hell, it makes for a mildly amusing story.

Many a moon ago I was dating a girl who had something of a bad reputation. She had breasts akin to two bald prison inmates hiding in a silk hole, and living in a small village in Lincolnshire she was "known" by almost every bloke in the village.

I was sure that with my Southern charm and panache for old school romance, I could coax her from the dark, broken streets of slutsville and whisk her away on my noble steed to the village of monogaminghamshire, situated in the county of Lotsofsex. Ignoring the fact that her natural resting position was missionary, she was charming and clever and for a time, she had me believing that I'd romantically beaten her into submission and she was ready to settle down.

Well, until one morning when I awoke to a drunken text from her where she'd confessed to sleeping with an entire 5 piece local goth band the night before.

And her ex right after she saw me off the last time I was there.

And again before I'd got up there.

And with another band who played a few weeks before, though they were just a 4 piece.

I do have a habit of nuking my bridges and decided that if she wanted to be a slag, I would help her career. Of course, during our relationship she'd sent me the odd rude photo of herself, and so with the help of a friend, managed to get her photo up on a few websites with her mobile phone number across the bottom. As a coup de gras, I printed one of the pages and posted it to her, and on the back simply wrote " :-) ".

I accidentally caught her online checking an old msn account about 2 years later. She still wishes me dead to this day, I think.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:33, 3 replies)

So
come on then, what were these websites? Where can we view the pics? Chop chop, some of us have dirty phone calls to make.
(Rsoles, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:40, closed)

This
was about 7 years ago I'm afraid. They've since been taken down. You're not missing much, she looked like Bagpuss.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 18:16, closed)

Oh
I wouldn't worry about that, I even find Double-Bagpuss attractive. And I'm still answering 7 year old personal ads, tis just a blink of an eye in the great scheme of things, those pics will be around somewhere, they NEVER disappear on the interwebs.





I mean ads that are 7 years old, not.........
(Rsoles, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 19:20, closed)