there is a god
one day, i was on my merry way to the shops, on that infernal mode of transport known as a bus. all was going well, until the bus stopped and on got the Chav Princess. wearing head-to-toe pink, 6 inches of make-up and enough gold(ish) jewellery to put Mr. T to shame, she tottered up the bus, with her glittery pink phone clamped to her foundation-streaked ear.
the entire bus was then subjected to ten minutes of her loud and nasty conversation, ranging from the bloke she'd been "rammed up the shitter" by the night before, to how itchy her fanny was that morning. none of us wanted to hear this, but we really didn't have a choice. i remember her saying "yeah, i got a call back from that modelling agency, they said they've definitely got work for me. dirty bastard nearly cum on my tits while i was there! i don't really want to leave the salon, but they'll just have to manage without me."
by now, the whole bus was ready to throttle the little scrote.
then, something wonderful happened: her phone rang. while she was "talking" to someone on it.
she'd been caught out and she knew it. the snigger crept through the other passengers almost as fast as the blush of shame crept over her face. she answered the phone quickly, saying "yeah, dad, i'm on my way. i had to sign on first."
she jumped off the bus at the next stop. i doubt it was her stop, but if she could have got out of the emergency exit, i think she would have.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 0:09, 8 replies)

Pffft!
Do multiple clicks count?
( Bats, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 8:00, closed)

i hope so! :)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:44, closed)

Ahaha. Ahahahaha.
Oh, I really can't click this enough.
(berk, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 15:50, closed)

thanks
she really deserved it, she was deeply unpleasant
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:45, closed)

ROFL
I'm putting on my LOLLERSKATES for this one !!! Pure class.
(OvahLairD Whats a delivery tree ?, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 22:26, closed)

thanks muchly!
although i now wish i had a pair of lollerskates
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 23:04, closed)

I'm mainly confused as to
who the fuck she was trying to impress.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 1:29, closed)

Why?
Doesn't having an itchy fanny after being rammed up the shitter impress you?

I'm falling over myself in an effort to track her down and be her BFF.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 6:29, closed)