Lentil weavers
I run a pub in a lovely little town, that over the last decade or so has become a mecca for people wishing to leave the big smoke and lead alternative lives (because they've made a pile of money already so can afford to pursue vanity projects).
A group of these people have banded together to save the world and educate the hoi polloi in matters such as vegetarianism, buying local and, most importantly, releasing us from our addiction to energy.
Mostly they do this by trying to use my function room (for free, because that's how you support local businesses) for their meetings.
Without a shadow of doubt they are the most ignorant bunch of people I have come across; rude, condescending and with very little idea how the world works.
They are probably the only group that leaves all the lights on, doors open and electric fires on after they leave. I mean are they trying to use up all the energy in the world so there's none left for us to pollute the planet with?
The last straw came when they asked if they could have a log fire for one of their story telling event. I told them that I needed to check when the chimney was swept and was told, "Oh, it's fine. We brought in some logs last time and lit a fire to see if the chimney worked".
Obviously, if the 200 year old building had burned down in a chimney fire they would have known that they couldn't have a log fire for their story time, but they could have danced widdershins around my burning home.
Sorry, not exactly some pyro's wet dream but vaguely involved fire and my rage.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 10:38, 12 replies)

If the town is a Mecca for the kind of people you hate, why not move and run a pub elsewhere?
It'd do your stress levels some good...
(Porcupine, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 10:54, closed)

I couldn't sell up without going bust due to the joys of negative equity.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sat 24 Jan 2015, 9:26, closed)

Why don't you start charging them for the use of your function room?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 11:22, closed)

^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 13:03, closed)

If the OP charges, he should play their game...
Don't charge for the "room". Charge for the resources used. If these are them standard enviro-nerds charge them for the lighting, electric, heat. The energy expenses. CO2 created. Precious water used. Tell them it is to encourage them to use less of the earth's precious resources.

Read their envrio-claptrap and reuse their words on them.

Best part of this is you can now make up any vague figures you like each week depending on current sunspot activity.
( Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 20:14, closed)

I did start charging them
They argued they were a charity (which I found out wasn't the case) and all that happened was they didn't turn up again and they didn't even have the decency to cancel the bookings. After 2 missed meetings I just cancelled all of their future bookings (the 3rd meeting actually turned up and were surprised that I'd done this, but still refused to pay for the room and left in a huff)
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sat 24 Jan 2015, 9:29, closed)

So you barred and/or glassed them, yes?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 12:38, closed)

Haha shit publican.

( Pig Bodine., Fri 23 Jan 2015, 13:39, closed)

^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 22:13, closed)

Uses the definite article before the term hoi polloi
calls others ignorant.

<sadface>
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 19:05, closed)

^Doesn't understand how language works, and how words and phrases are repurposed.
Cunt.
(SlantedScience, Tue 27 Jan 2015, 3:37, closed)

I think you will find that..
the real mecca for the kind of people who just want to watch the world burn is, actually, Mecca
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 23 Jan 2015, 21:48, closed)