the dog, the dog, he’s at it again
Took the dog to the vet yesterday for his yearly M.O.T. He passed with flying colours – all legs present and correct, nose wet, anus still warm and accommodating. His sense of humour is on fine form too as when the vet was checking his heartbeat, Dylan, being the master of comedic timing, chose the exact moment the stethoscope touched him to let out the spirit of the wild in one single, solitary, earth shattering guttural bark. This massive ‘woof’ literally blew the vet’s mind! He jumped up about 2 feet. I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for the veterinarian oath he would have put him to sleep right then and there.

If you haven’t already, I suggest you all at one time or another play Buckaroo with a sleeping Jack Russell. Be sensible though, spatulas and wooden spoons should suffice– don’t be piling on microwaves and washing machines. Pillows are good too– better in fact as the resultant clatter of cutlery when he wakes won’t cause him to bolt and run straight into the patio door resulting in yet another visit to the vet. Although you will be missing out on the follow up game of unflattening the dog’s face. I find the best method of doing this is to place your lips around the dog’s anus– ensuring a tight seal– and blowing. You’ll find his nose will just pop right out with a satisfying ‘floompth’ like a washing up glove.
(stooey Not an actor but I play one on TV, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:31, 3 replies)

I like that so much
Im going to have to try it and I absolutely KNOW that you have played that game for yourself (sans the blowing up the bum bit....)
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:57, closed)

Also works with comatose street drinkers.

( 4Q just lurking, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:25, closed)

You are David Attenborough AICMFP

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:47, closed)