I helped my friend Tim move...
...to his new flat. He'd done it properly, hired a van, and when we arrived at the new place we agreed that he would carry the boxes, and I would carry the bin bags. Each bin bag weighed a ton, and there were 10 or 11 of them. The new flat was up four steep flights of stairs, and I was in a bad way by the time I got to the 8th bag. I tripped and the bag split, scattering a very large number of well-thumbed Razzles, Mayfairs, Clubs and Men Onlys all the way back to the doorway.
It turned out that every one of these bags was devoted to his collection of pornography, and when I refused to carry any more he flew into a rage and refused to give me my reward pint and packet of crisps.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 15:25, 11 replies)

This is also what Santa keeps in his sack.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 15:40, closed)

he's going to be gutted by some changes in the law by the sound of it
i helped my friend move into her university house in the shittiest part of birmingham (and there is a lot of competition for that title). this was around the time austin powers came out, and as i arrived at the new house in my car, i saw her walking around the corner from her old house, carrying a lot of stuff.

"i'm still alive," she panted in a terrible fake egyptian accent. "but very badly burdened."

you had to be there, but i've typed it now, and you love it, you dirty slags.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 16:43, closed)

Are you TRYING to prove that you know even less about the law than Frisbee-alan does?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 6 Jan 2015, 20:12, closed)

?

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 23:11, closed)

She's implying that the recent changes in the law will make that list of softcore magazines somehow illegal.
They won't.
The whole point about them BEING softcore means that none of the stuff that is now being declared illegal in the UK was ever IN those mags to begin with.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 7 Jan 2015, 0:08, closed)

not quite
my thinking was that someone who loved porn so much would have moved on to harder stuff because the internet has made the mags obsolete and the range of stuff online would have expanded his interests which would now be denied blah blah blah blah.

but i'm not going to lie to you, i didn't exactly put much thought into that thinking. maybe he still goes to argos to lovingly steal the laminated pages of the shower screen section, who knows.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 10:40, closed)

Except the law only refers to producing it in the UK.
He could still get utter filth from anywhere else in the world and wank himself senseless.
( gone, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 11:18, closed)

which is probably what all the politicians do anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 11:35, closed)

Yeah, right, because despite all evidence to the contrary, that's how the mind works.
You should try for a job writing articles for the Daily Mail. I'm not sure where you'd fit in best though, BAN ALL PORN articles for the "Out Of Our Minds" section, or, ALL GROWN UP, WEARING KILLER HEELS, REVEALING SWIMSUIT, LOOKS OLDER THAN HER YEARS blurb for the "Sidebar Of Shame".
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 7 Jan 2015, 16:04, closed)

they sound like the same article

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 17:10, closed)

My friends and I used to memorise Monty Python scripts,
but I'd make no claims that we were in anyway funny. Your friend would have fit right in.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 9:55, closed)