Not my house...
Over the month of November I had to essentially move in with my in-laws as things were getting very bad over there. How bad?

-father-in-law (FIL) had pneumonia and mother-in-law (MIL) had bronchitis.
-FIL began having a major mental lapse due to said pneumonia and became incoherent and hallucinating.
-both take loads of pills per day to keep them healthy, all prescribed by doctors. They kept forgetting to take them. Over the past six months they had taken less than half of their meds.
-they were living on what FIL cooked in the morning (eggs scrambled with spinach, squash and canned mushrooms) and the occasional dinner out, and sometimes going to a cheap diner for breakfast. Both were losing weight at an alarming rate.
-MIL had been falling down a lot, and FIL is not strong enough to get her back up.

Despite all of these things and more, they were refusing to give up their 2400 sq ft home and move to assisted living (not a nursing home). FIL had become such a bad driver that they guy at the body shop shook my hand when he found out that I had confiscated the keys and was now doing all of the driving, because FIL had taken to "playing a lot of bumper tag."

So I moved in with them and did a very hard sell on the assisted living place. Long story short, after a couple of weeks of getting proper nutrition, full meds and full sleep (I threatened to pull the plug on the cable if FIL didn't shut the damn thing off by 11), I succeeded. In early December I packed up their essentials and drove them to the facility, where my brother-in-law took over.

Meanwhile the wife and I went back to the house to gather furniture to take up to the facility, and in the process had to empty drawers and closets. In the process we found:

-no fewer than 14 tubes of lube
-several types of herbal supplements intended as Viagra
-numerous books of erotica and guides to sex
-other items which I will not mention as I am trying to block them out.

Parents out there, when you reach a certain age, do your children a favor and discreetly get rid of intimate things. The trauma induced was enough to put us off our feed for a couple of weeks.
( Wanderer, Tue 13 Jan 2015, 11:44, 32 replies)

What an absolute cunt you are. I hope they took you out of the will.
Frankly it's a pity that they allowed you to marry their daughter in the first place.
If I'd have been faced with the prospect of a little shit like you as a son-in-law, on hearing the news, I'd have taken you round the back of the house and blown your fucking head off with a shotgun.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Jan 2015, 21:20, closed)

I hope that one day you will be in the same situation of dealing with senile parents and having to force the issue before one of them dies an absolutely preventable death.

( Wanderer, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 5:15, closed)

Bit negative.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 9:51, closed)

Don't you see that wishing that on him just shows
username stuj is right about you?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 14 Jan 2015, 10:18, closed)

Not really.
He's jumped to a load of conclusions that he pulled out of his ass, as there is a load of background info that I didn't include as it would be a long and unpleasant read. Jumping on me like this shows him to be a judgmental little prick at the very least, just the sort that loves to spout off about What's Wrong With The World.

Going through such an experience might snap him out of his smug little shell and make him grow up a little.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 11:51, closed)

Wishing dementia and an early death on his parents, is a bit harsh.
Wishing it in stuj would be in keeping with the general tone, and at least he's here to stick up for himself.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 16:24, closed)

I'm in a care home. I hate my kids. :(
Have I had breakfast yet?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 14 Jan 2015, 19:34, closed)

This is how I've always pictured you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 19:42, closed)

And it arouses the hell out of you, I know.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 14 Jan 2015, 19:53, closed)

You've left your dildo collection under the bed
for your daughter in law to find when she's hoovering.
You old perv!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 14 Jan 2015, 19:53, closed)

What do you mean "under"?
They're mounted on the wall above the bed like trophies.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 14 Jan 2015, 20:41, closed)

And saying that I should have had my head blown off with a shotgun isn't?

( Wanderer, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 3:42, closed)

Let's look at what you posted objectively shall we? As opposed to what you want us to think. Because you're not coming across as the nice guy you want us to think you are, at all.
Firstly you took away their car, depriving them of their independence and forcing them to be reliant on you for transport.
Then YOU moved in with them, rather than your wife or brother in law, ACTUAL relatives, and immediately started in with the bullying of a pair of vulnerable old people. Even imposing a bed-time on them as if they were children.
Then you bullied them into thinking that they couldn't cope without you, and sold their house from under them to force them into a care home. Oh, right, it's NOT a care home is it? BULLSHIT! You might be able to salve your wife's conscience by calling it something different, but that's exactly what it is. You took them away from their home, away from everything they were familiar with, all their friends and neighbours and any routines they were used to. Thus making them even MORE vulnerable than they already had been. Old folk like that seldom last long, which is why you did it, isn't it?
You sent them away to die.
Frankly I hope that if you have kids, that when you get that old and frail, they'll go one further on you, and just drive you into the woods one day and leave you there, shouting "THIS IS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO GRAN AND GRANDAD YOU EVIL COCKSUCKER!" as they drive off into the sunset, leaving you afraid and alone.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 14 Jan 2015, 10:41, closed)

Making just a few assumptions here, aren't we?
Let's see:

-My FIL actually handed me the keys as he always does when I come to visit as he prefers that I drive. He knows that he's having problems with it these days.
-I moved in because I happened to be between jobs at the time and had the time to do it. Neither my wife or her brother could drop their jobs to handle it- in fact, my BIL has already used up all of his PTO on small crises leading up to this.
-My MIL was grateful to have me appear as she couldn't care for her husband but I could. I drove them to the doctors as needed, and while I was there had to run each of them to the hospital for emergencies in the wee hours of the mornings.
-My MIL has wanted to go into a facility for years, but FIL was being stubborn and refusing.
-Moving to a facility was strongly recommended by one of their closest friends, a retired PhD in psychiatric nursing. She was invaluable in convincing FIL.
-Also in on this was a social worker specializing in geriatrics. She had recommended the move last spring. since then she became increasingly involved with them, coordinating their health care appointments and checking on them at least once a week.
-Speaking of the facility, apparently you have no idea what such a place actually is. They have an apartment there and live as they please, with someone else monitoring their meds and a dining room that is essentially a restaurant. They are surrounded by other well-educated people their own age, including a retired surgeon whose hobby became horticulture and environmentalism. He and my FIL, a retired ecologist, have much to discuss.
-I did organize them and indeed imposed a bedtime on FIL because, in case you didn't catch on, he had pneumonia. He was very ill and needed rest, but was too far out of it to see that for himself.
-Did I mention pneumonia and bronchitis? How about when MIL had a seizure at a restaurant and I drove her to the hospital because she seemed to be having a stroke? Or that they weren't taking all of their meds? Or that the diabetic FIL kept forgetting his insulin? Seems that if I wanted them to die sooner I wouldn't have been with them to begin with.

tl;dr: you have no clue what you're taking about and are projecting your own prejudices. Fuck off, you silly little shit.
( Wanderer, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 11:48, closed)

tl;dr you're actually a saint.
Yeah, right.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 14 Jan 2015, 19:32, closed)

^ top internets

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 20:38, closed)

Remember when either this, or the "I choke-slammed a burglar" thread, would have gotten in excess of 100 replies?
How far we have fallen.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 21:22, closed)

you mean before the upset weepies won the battle

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 14 Jan 2015, 21:33, closed)

I dunno Quinchy, I think maybe I'm the upset weepie here.
Because I really don't see what's so nice about sending your wife's parents away to die and then boasting about it.
Unless his whole point was really "LOL! OLD PEOPLE HAVE SEX TOO! ISN'T THAT DISGUSTING! LOL!". Which still ain't exactly hilarious. I mean hell, there's even whole websites devoted to pensioner porn these days, so it's not as if he's telling anyone anything they didn't already know in this story. Other than the fact he sent his in-laws to the modern day equivalent of Theresienstadt. And he didn't even make a decent joke out of it.
sadtimes.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 15 Jan 2015, 1:32, closed)

^ upset

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 9:11, closed)

So how much you want for the mags and lube?

( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 15:58, closed)

So, I remember the time before they had won...
And we clearly are now in the era where they're in control...
But what event marked their actual victory?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 12:30, closed)

The departure of Dr. Shambolic.
4eva in are harts.
(immadme, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 14:53, closed)

won the battle, not the war.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 17:45, closed)

Never claimed to be a saint.
I only included that bit as background. It was not the point of the story, just the bit that you felt was so relevant that you had to jump on me over it. Had that been the focus of the story I would have gone into far greater detail on it and outlined the scrambled nightmare I walked into upon my arrival, or the dreadful events that led to me being sent there to deal with the situation. But none of that would have made for fun reading, so I glossed over it.

Now run along and go back to your Daily Mail and write them furious letters.
( Wanderer, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 3:48, closed)

All my letters to the Daily Mail are happy ones.
Written whilst furiously wanking.
But hey, then again, I've never sent my in-laws away to die and tried to pretend that I was some sort of nice guy for doing so.
Was doing that even ON your Bucket List?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 16 Jan 2015, 23:16, closed)

I miss this.

(immadme, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 14:54, closed)

this baldmonkey.
Yes, I concur.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 16 Jan 2015, 23:10, closed)

I agree
cleaning out MIL's unit when she went into assisted care, Vaseline, erotic tales book, small c1960s vibrator wrapped up in a hanky in the bedside drawer.
I let her daughter take care of that lot.
PS. Don't feed the trolls......
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 5:25, closed)

^ poor internets

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 17:47, closed)

^typical lesmond.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 16 Jan 2015, 23:11, closed)

stuj......<3

( vladimir, Fri 16 Jan 2015, 16:08, closed)