After getting off the school bus one day
Me and my mate David were walking down the road from the bus stop when some mags were hanging out the side of a hedge. He took them home, and at his sleepover the week after, showed them to everyone, and it was of some woman pleasuring herself with various sausages.

There are now several desks in school which tell you that "David ***** has sausage porn".

Always the bloody n00bs with the length jokes too...
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:43, Reply)

Adventures in babysitting
When I was about fourteen I used to babysit for two boys down the road, both about nine years old.
One evening they were playing upstairs but were suspiciously quiet. I went to investigate and they were both crouched over an open drawer in their parents' bedside cabinet.
When I asked them what they were up to they looked extremely guilty and went downstairs. I had a look and there was an impressive collection of magazines - Razzles mainly.
At the bottom of the pile there was a plain brown envelope. I could feel my heart thumping, it couldn't be... I opened the envelope... Yup. The lady of the house kneeling on the very bed I was sitting on, smiling over her shoulder, blurry eyed, and a peeled banana protruding from her anus. It can't have been very ripe.
Anyway, well worth the shock I got when I heard two small accusing voices from the doorway asking exactly what I was up. I pray to God that they never investigated that drawer further than the top of the pile otherwise they'd feature in last week's qotw.
I saw the woman years later in the fruit and veg section of Waitrose and nearly fainted. Lock your drawers, chaps!
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:42, Reply)

Aged 7
Me and my younger brother looking for a misplaced Toy Story video, finally thought to go up to my parents bedroom.

Lo and behold, there was a video in the tape player. Is it Toy Story? Dunno. We pressed eject. No label. Oh right. Put it back in... press play.

It wasn't Toy Story.

The image is forever engraved in my mind.

To make it worse. What did we do first?

"Mum...?"
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:40, Reply)

.
Saw my brother having a look on the computer.
Then I gave it a go.

Its still as good as ever.
(littlenipple hate's bad grammar, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:40, Reply)

When I was twelve
I found a copy of The Joy of Sex in my parents' bedroom.

"No, not that cabinet Finnbar - the one in the en suite bathroom!"

Much fwapping ensued later, when they'd gone out.
( finnbar has officially retired, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:39, Reply)

Year 10 RE lesson in a Catholic all girls' school, under the eyes of God. At the back, four girls are poring over a gay porn magazine, specifically a page entitled 'The Cockpit'.
Good read.
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:31, Reply)

"Ive got some cunts!"
My first step on the long long road that is my Porn addiction was at the age of 9 at school..
One Morning one of the scruffy bumpkin freaks I shared classes with arrived in the playground announcing (in a very loud voice) "Ive got some cunts, Ive got some cunts!"
Impressed by both his boast about possesion of female parts and his usage of the 'c' word we eagerly gathered round...
The scruff then proceeded to produce a collection of perfectly cut out pictures of ladies hairy front bottoms.... when I say pictures of ladies front bottoms I mean JUST pictures of the most intimate areas-nothing else-no boobs,bums,legs or faces.... all very carefully cut out from what was later revealed to be his Dad's stash of grot mags.
I was somewhat dissapointed the the tiny pictures that looked ,to my innocent eyes, a bit like Jimmy Hill's chin and promptly shattered his new found fame by announcing "yuk I hate cunts Im more of a tits fan" a statement everyone else present seemed to agree with.
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:30, Reply)

Not pron as such...
... but about the first thing approaching a pornographic experience was in my school library as a boy of about 11.

They had a large subscription to many educational magazines such as National Geographic and BadgerWatch Monthly. Amongst these was the German publication (poss NSFW) Stern which almost invariably has pictures with people with their bits out. FWIW it is a pretty good magazine with some pretty gritty articles. And nudey bits.
(It's what Ian Rush drinks!, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:30, Reply)

Television X
The freeviews they used to do at around midnight every night - 10 minutes of the softest porn every but to me it was brilliant and I'd find myself sneaking into the living room every night to get this 10 minutes in. I was about 11 at the time. However, it soon stopped when one night sneaking into the living room I bumped into my dad in the hallway, obvious doing the same.

This is the first time it's been mentioned since..
( pickspicks, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:28, Reply)

I discovered it ...
... here.

Frank Spenser has a lot to answer too. I'm sure I wasn't the first though.
(Biff..., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:24, Reply)

oh what a sheltered life i lead
unless you count erotic literature, my first experience of anything more pornographic than fhm or bizzare was at the age of about 20, when my sister's fiance *accidentally* purchased some exceptionally large dildos and a disturbingly dirty video (i was particularly freaked out by the *hairy girls* and the girl who was demonstrating her ability to insert bowling pins into her muff - not something i'd be proud of love) and decided he wanted me to sell them on ebay
i definately hope the purchase was accidental, the story was the girls downstairs ordered it all, it went to the wrong adresss and they'd decided they didnt want it after it had been sat in this guys wardrobe for a month. personally i think they just decided they didnt want it after they saw how big the dildos were, 10 inches? ouch! didnt make much on ebay either, plus i got banned for a whole day for selling ilicit items.....
looking forward to frankspencer's answers, should keep me off the erotic literature sites for the week!

i'd apologise for length, but i didnt buy them, and frankly, the girth was what really scared me *shudder*.....
(skankgirl, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:20, Reply)

This Is What I Mean..
.
I know that the QOTW isn't the place to post links but it's the only way I can across what porn was like in the late 60's early 70's.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaeN6irbpZw

Yes. Quite.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:18, Reply)

Thanks to some careless video labelling...
on my single-parent Dad's behalf, I was under the impression for a good 2 or 3 years that it was quite the norm for a woman to have sex with 3 men at the same time whilst having burning wax dripped onto her nipples.

I have in the 9 years since learned that it's not.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:18, Reply)

Not so much pr0n but
Growing up in Ireland in the late 80's it was a very barren area for Adult magazines(Playboy was illegal till the mid 90's). We had to make do with biker magazines of scantily clad ladies and once a copy of H+E monthly, Yes a naturist magazine!
(Adaminho, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:14, Reply)

One of the internet generation...
13 years old, at a sleepover, looking at www.sex.com (I know, how cliché), as we were naughty schoolgirls, and discovering the Pamela & Tommy Lee sex tape previews.

Not a great introduction, let's be honest, but after leaving home at 16 I moved in with a fellow who introduced me to the world of free pr0n, and to this day I still have a collection of mpegs and dvds most blokes would be shocked by. Hehehehe.

Length? Dear sweet lord, how does that fit up there??
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:06, Reply)

sheltered life
rough old dog eared mags found at school, in the hedge. Couldn't make out anything of note. and at 10 years old, wouldn't have known if i had.

Then, a 3 or 4 years later my mate lent me his older brothers VHS tape. Russ Meyers Valley of the supervixens.

at 14 i really didn't think things got much better than this.

No porn since has had the same impact. It may be filthier or more "specialist", but being british theres nothing like a porno which felt like a Benny Hill offshoot. Pardon the pun.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:04, Reply)

Unfair....
.
As one of the older people on the board, this QOTW leaves me at a distinct disadvantage. You see, being a child of the 60's there was very little porn about. Not like today when you can't even use the internet for 5 minutes without having some birds shaven gash thrust in your face.

Things that could excite me then included Benny Hill, Up Pompei! and Carry On films. You can mock but the sight of Barbara Windsor getting her baps out in Carry On Camping nearly made me soil my pants.



Edit: Actually, now I come to think about it, Barbara Windsor getting her baps today would still make me soil myself - only for very different reasons......



Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 16:02, Reply)

Not pron as such


When I was quite young, can’t remember exactly, but pre-big school so probably about nine, I spotted a book in the bookcase in our livingroom…’The Joy of Sex’. Oh, the guilt I felt as I sneaked looks in this whenever I managed to have the livingroom to myself – not easy with three brothers I can tell you. I learnt things there and saw illustrations that opened my eyes as well as certain blood vessels.




It was only years later, possibly when we had a kid of our own and bought her ‘How my body works’ or somesuch when she was about five or six, that I realised that my kind, liberal, embarrassed parents had put it there deliberately so that we could gain some knowledge of the fairer sex and what takes place betwixt us and them – or between men if they should be of the gay persuasion.

Cheers folks.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:58, Reply)

Erm....
Somewhat bizarrely, it was when I was about 11. On a scout camp. In the woods...

Really
( Thy Maker Sigs are rubbish, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:54, Reply)

Part One: The Maternity Clinic
As I lay on the delivery table looking back up the slick hole that had just delivered me, I sustained my very first boner and made an unconscious grab at the tiny pipe. Then I was introduced to my mother and realised that incest was not a good idea. So I groped the 34 D breasts of the nurse who wrapped me up.

"Ohh, he's a frisky one!" she said. If only she knew ...
(frankspencer, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:53, Reply)

When i am was only young
My first memory was around the age of 6-8 (i think) visiting the dutch family in the north of Holland. Was in the eldest sons bedroom and found soem dutch/german hardcore porn under the bed. My sis and I had a look the picture that i remember most was the woman naked, bending over, arse to the camera, pissing on a pot plant. My sis and i thought she was wearing a special "naked" suit and was watering the plants.

Thankfully no last harm, i.e. i am not into watersports and plants.
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:51, Reply)

Walking to school
I used to have to walk to school because my family were poor.

As we went under the M6 we found a stash of porno.... In very good condition. :) happy days was that.

Funny thing was.. Every Monday morning there was always new stuff there for about half a year!

I never understood why!
(Matthew-field.co.uk, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:51, Reply)

Happy Days
Being bought up in the country meant that porn was rather hard to come by (ahem) - but there always appeared to be a healthy supply dumped in the hedgerows near a certain set of stables. Mainly Men Only, Mayfair etc - but one time we did find a mag that some found confusing due to its penchant for midgets.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm midgets.
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:49, Reply)

Ah, memories
My mate Gavin had a close up from razzle in his wallet. We couldn't make any of it out... Mind, we were 8...

Oh and my dads mate Trev showed me a Readers Wives at about the same age... Again, I was a bit nonplussed...

But when I was 3 or 4, my grandad would buy the Sun and show me the "Page 3 diddies". Mother was mortified. I still have a healthy obsession with naughty pillows...
(The Splendid Oaf, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:44, Reply)

Typos can lead to hillarious consequences...
As a young and naive girl of fourteen, I was hunting for the website of the Manchester Evening News arena, to look for information about some concert or other. Unfortunately, I neglected to remember that M.E.N also spells men. I typed up the resulting web address and hit enter, to be confronted by a gay porn site full of gentlemen in varying stages of undress. I was rather shocked at the time...
Didn't stop me going back to have another sneaky peep once I'd recovered and thought "hang on, they were rather nice..." later on though ;)
(Celebgil, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:43, Reply)

Down the side of Mrs Marshall's garage
She lived at number 10 and was a bit scary. Pretty sure it wasn't hers though.
(Mad McMad, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:40, Reply)

what's that?
i said as i pointed at a picture of oily germanic goodness

'that's her arsehole you idiot' said my mate.

'oh'

(i was 8...)
(shanvishnu, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:37, Reply)

shit
I've just frozen up.
(frankspencer, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:35, Reply)

I think it was...
Frank Spencer!

Edit: Ha Ha, and I just managed to get in before you (fner fner)

Edit 2:

Actually I think it was ‘Mayfair’ c.1973. I found it hidden in my big brothers room, strangely enough, all I can really remember from it was a) a ‘feature’ on Steve Harley and a lady that gradually removed more and more of her clothes and b) a cartoon of a woman at a gym, the fitness instructor bent her over in a strange position and ripped open her liatard (sp?) and was about to take advantage of the poor girl, but she managed to extricate herself and left the guy tied in a knot with a pained expression on his face.

I also remember some Swedish pron that did the rounds at school, I swear one of the very graphic shots featured the blond one from Abba!!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 25 Jan 2007, 15:35, Reply)