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This is a question Near Death Experiences II

Freddie Woo says: I was once caught right in the middle of in an early morning high-speed 30-car pile-up on the M3, but emerged from the chaos in the only car not to have suffered a dent. My trousers told a different story, and learned that you *do* empty your bowels as Death's icy grip reaches out for you. Tell us about your audition for the Final Destination films.

Suggested by Just a Vagabond

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 May 2014, 12:55)
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Champagne doesn't come from New Zealand, you marshmallow twat.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 May 2014, 19:56, 1 reply)
In my defence, you fisters of gibbons,
The owner of said establishment WAS originally from that particular part of France, and he called it fucking Champagne. I wasn't going to argue with the kind of man who permanently carries a corkscrew in a manner that suggests he'll shank anyone without a moment's notice.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 15 May 2014, 20:14, closed)
you don't use a corkscrew to open fizzy wine, you dumb cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 May 2014, 20:39, closed)
Is this a record - the most trivial thing that's managed to upset you to date?

(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Thu 15 May 2014, 22:16, closed)
typing 'you dumb cunt' doesn't in any way indicate upset, you dumb cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 May 2014, 22:48, closed)
Is this upsetting you too?
Just let it go. Trust me, nobody will think the worse of you.

Alternatively, don't, I'm not really that fussed - it's your tumor at stake.

I'm only here because my job's so boring. (See how I got back on topic?)
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Fri 16 May 2014, 1:08, closed)
get a better job, povvo

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 16 May 2014, 8:00, closed)
You don't get high on your own supply.

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:08, closed)
you sound like a stupid fucking prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 15 May 2014, 22:04, closed)
He doesn't sound like a stupid fucking prick, he writes like a stupid fucking prick you stupid fucking prick
That's someone else's voice in your head.
(J H Christ began in Afrika ka ka ka ka, Thu 15 May 2014, 22:23, closed)
Very poor. Very poor, indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 16 May 2014, 9:26, closed)

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