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This is a question Near Death Experiences II

Freddie Woo says: I was once caught right in the middle of in an early morning high-speed 30-car pile-up on the M3, but emerged from the chaos in the only car not to have suffered a dent. My trousers told a different story, and learned that you *do* empty your bowels as Death's icy grip reaches out for you. Tell us about your audition for the Final Destination films.

Suggested by Just a Vagabond

(, Thu 15 May 2014, 12:55)
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Another camping one
Staggering out of the tent in the New Forest, after a particularly drunken night, I wandered down to the wooded area for my morning piss. It seemed to be taking a long time for the clouds of steam to clear; then I realised that the leaf litter below me was smouldering, with orange glowing patches visible under the ash. The more I looked, the more I found - an area about ten feet across was smouldering and spreading.

This was a problem, as we were currently enjoying a protracted heatwave, and the whole of Southern England was on wildfire alert. Even worse, I remembered that, as I'd stumbled back to my tent to pass out, one of our party had announced that no bloody heatwave was going to take away his fun of sitting around a camp fire, and had led a group off in this general direction. So it looked like our party was about to be responsible for burning down the New Forest!

I alerted the others, and we managed - after countless trips to the taps - to put out the creeping orange infection, without alerting anyone. We then rounded on the perpetrator, and pointed out that it had been pretty stupid to light a fire last night. Especially as he was a firefighter by trade...
(, Wed 21 May 2014, 13:34, closed)

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