How nerdy are you?This week Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died. A whole generation of pasty dice-obsessed nerds owes him big time. Me included.
So, in his honour, how nerdy were you? Are you still sunlight-averse? What are the sad little things you do that nobody else understands?
As an example, a B3ta regular who shall remain nameless told us, "I spent an entire school summer holiday getting my BBC Model B computer to produce filthy stories from an extensive database of names, nouns, adjectives, stock phrases and deviant sexual practices. It revolutionised the porn magazine dirty letter writing industry for ever.
Revel in your own nerdiness.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:32)
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geek therapyFew people know about it, but there is a kind of rehab centre for nerds in northern Califiornia. Desperate dweebs are referred there and undergo a strict regime of resocialisation. There are no computers, no access to role-playing, and patients are stripped of all figurines at reception. The group therapy sessions are infamous for their brutal truth-telling.
Therapist: So - Kevin, Marcus and Reginald - how are you feeling?
Kevin: Can I be called Dreamlord Agthanax?
Therapist: No. We've talked about that. You are Kevin.
Reg: Who am I?
Therapist: This is not a role play, Reg. You are yourself.
Reg: What are my powers?
Therapist: You have no powers. You are simply yourself.
Reg: Garthrex.
Therapist: [sighs] No. Reginald. Garthrex does not exist. NOW - the subject of today's session is girls.
Marcus: Can I go to the toilet?
Therapist: No. Nurse says if you masturbate anymore your anaemia will kill you. You have to get used to the idea of girls.
Reg: Like Princess Arimea. I've had her.
Therapist: Real girls, Reg. Not virtual ones. I have arranged for some real girls to visit us today so that you can interact.
Kevin: 'Ooh, Nursey - I like it firm and fruity!'
Therapist: Ah, Blackadder again. Try to avoid saying things like that when the girls arrive, Kevin, or they'll think you're a total knob.
Marcus: I need to go to the toilet!
Therapist: Take your hand out of your pockets and the feeling will go away. Ah - here are the girls now...
[Enter three hot girls wearing tight tops and mini-skirts]
Therapist: Now, boys. Just chat to the girls in a normal way.
Marcus: [to girl 1] Do you prefer Episode 4 or the Phantom Menace?
Girl 1: Sorry - do you speak English?
Marcus: Star Wars! Which is your favourite?
Girl 1: I like William Shatner. He was hot in it.
[Marcus keels over with an aneurism and dies]
Kevin: [to girl 2] I made an animated homepage for my Warhammer site with Java Script!
Girl 2: Is that a computer thing?
Kevin: Yes! I've got an Apple Airbook with 15,000 tetrabytes of RAM.
Girl 2: How about your cock? Is it girthy?
[Kevin's eyes pop out of his head and he's he's rushed to the infirmary]
Reg: [to girl 3] Can I touch your boobs?
Girl 3: If you buy me a WKD.
Therapist: Finally! A breakthrough.
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:28, 7 replies)
ahem.JavaScript is all one word.
Thank you.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:31,
closed)
.No I can't laugh out loud. I'll have to explain it to the numpty next to me if I do!
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:51, closed)
very good.have a click.
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Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 16:49,
closed)
wkd ?i have a case of it under my desk, what will that get me ?
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 19:17, closed)
:)Legend!
(, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 21:56, closed)
Nedrd TherapyGenius
(, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 21:49, closed)
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