NERD TEST
Here you go - an easy way to tell if you are indeed an ubernerd.

Points available for the following:

1. You have an obsessive interest in anything deemed 'sad' by the X-Factor-watching populace. This is not limited to sci-fi or computing but also includes folk music, reading books and a love of the Central London tube map.

2. You react to everyday situations by thinking "that would make an excellent QOTW story!".

3. You can speak more than three languages. These languages may or may not be real.

4. You get unparalleled joy from fresh new stationery and practically reach orgasm over pens that write in different colours - my god! The potential for organisation!

5. You were bullied at school.

6. You chose to rise above the bullying, thus earning yourself nastier, more viscious bullying.

7. You wear/have worn any of the following: glasses, braces, a very bad haircut, brown clothes, an anorak, a pinafore, tweed.

8. You have suffered from any of the following: asthma, social rejection, blushing, mental illness, addiction to Radio 4.

9. You have an opinion on Lord of the Rings.

10. You are desperately trying to score full points on this test and/or correct me for my questionnaire shortcomings.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:44, 35 replies)

I was about to suggest other entries for that questionnaire...
...then I saw point number 10. Click.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:47, closed)

...
I don't get full marks on this, and that annoys me. So I'm not an uber-nerd, though I may be a meta-nerd.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:48, closed)

I only got 6/10
So I'm only just above seminerdism.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:49, closed)

@Enzyme
Really? I was convinced you'd worn a pinafore at some point in your life.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:51, closed)

Shit, I score 9/10
and that's only because on point no. 10, I was desperately trying NOT to score full points, or any points for that matter...

*sob*

Edit - got it wrong, 8/10 because I don't speak 3 languages
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:51, closed)

@CHCB...
Well, I'll try anything once except incest and folk-dancing...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:53, closed)

I'm sitting here with my four-colour pen
and despairing at how much I scored.

I disagree with the brown clothes part though.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:54, closed)

@Enzyme
Okay, I'll hold you to that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:58, closed)

Dear god...
1. Pratchett fan, and I build and design RC gliders.

2. Every Single Day.

3. English, German, French and Swedish.

4. I got given one that did red and black, with a built in laser pointer. I didn't come, but I got goose-bumps.

5. check.

6. sort of... see "on the stage". I only ever truly rose above it by nearly choking "Walter" to a state of un-conciousness.

7. Bowlcut. Thanks mum. Tweed: essential at school.

8 Currently addicted to Radio 4. Have all broadcast episodes of ISIHAC and the News quiz on Mp3.

9. Frodo should have shagged Sam in the end. It'd have been perfect. And the book was better.

10. You spelt Über wrong...

Thanks for a giggle =) *click*
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:59, closed)

@Humpty
I couldn't be arsed with the umlaut!
You're an RC guy? I have a lunch date today with a guy who flies 3D RC yaks for a living.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:05, closed)

9/10
Damn my monoglottal tounge!

But I will still have my "nerd god" status forever on my profile.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:15, closed)

Yaks?
As in Yakovlev type monoplanes or hairy bovine type animals?

[edit] I'd pay good money to see a hairy, hippy bovine type thing with a big propellor on it's nose doing a loop-the-loop.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:15, closed)

@PJM
I am presuming the former, though stick a big enough engine on those hippy cow things and you could probably fly one of them too.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:20, closed)

Oh I see
I thought he transported Roman Catholic hairy bovines by air!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:21, closed)

^
I will check with him to see if this is the case, though I suspect that might involve a lengthy conversation on why this is not the case, and I'm not sure I want to subject myself to that.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:24, closed)

Tut
You forgot "owns limited edition DMs or other item of clothing that lives in cryogenic suspension in a loft awaiting resurrection".
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:26, closed)

*Pah*
I only got 4 out of 10.


*Hangs head in shame*
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:26, closed)

@osok
GOTO 10
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:26, closed)

Damb it
Ah bugger I've only got 2 points from 1 and 9, it must be all of those football hooligan years that stopped me winning. (oo extra point from 10 me thinks.

3 points, how many to be a geek?
(3:16, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:42, closed)

I don't like pens...
A pencil has about 40 miles of writing "in" it, a bic biro only has a mile or so.

So, it's all about the pocket-space to efficency factor...
( Cawl, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:43, closed)

@3:16
what? You've never had a bad haircut? You jammy bastard!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:43, closed)

do i get bonus points...
for having worn glasses, braces, a shockingly bad haircut, brown clothes, a pinafore & tweed at some stage in my life? (luckily, not all at the same time!) otherwise, 6/10
(chameleon61, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:48, closed)

^
yes, plus the knowledge that we were possibly identical twins.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 11:51, closed)

...
1. Lots of things, but mostly: 16th Century Spanish polyphonic choral music. Terry Pratchett. 20th Century postmodernist composers. Contemporary "sound effect" techniques for flute, and how to invent even more when composing.

2. Sadly, my office is pretty normal, and "band camp" (or "choir camp") stories would get very irritating very quickly.

3. Yup.

4. No. You stationary-loving weirdo.

5. Yup. Lots.

6. Yup. Lots and lots. Bastard teenagers.

7. glasses, a very bad haircut, brown clothes, an anorak, a pinafore, tweed. Not all at the same time.

8. asthma, social rejection, blushing, addiction to Radio 4.

9. Yes I do. Not telling though.

10. Not really.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 13:21, closed)

Nerdiness test
1) I consider any interests I may have that are judged "sad" by the x-factor loving populace to be a massive compliment.

2) Oh yes.

3) I can barely master English on the sunniest of days unfortunately.

4) Not much beats the virginal newness of a decent unused pen.

5) Check

6) D'oh!

7) I have curly hair. Check.

8) Check

9) Yes, I got bored. Sorry.

10) I ask you, Question of the veek... Vhat is point? (see question 8).
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 7 Mar 2008, 13:35, closed)

Ah well
Just as I had resigned myself to being totally not a nerd I find that I are one after all!
Hooray!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 14:21, closed)

@crackhouseceilidhband
No I had nice hair as a kid and always short back and sides, its a hair cut designed for action not for poncing about in. (Geek price to who ever names that quote.
(3:16, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 17:08, closed)

@ Misspiggy
me too!
I got 8/10


10/10 if you count kindergarden through 6th grade......bah!
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 8 Mar 2008, 4:01, closed)

Ok, other than the fact i found this because Humpty is in my friends list and he had clicked i like this
Dear god...
1. I like trains, toys, gardening and cycling - amongst other things considered sad - oh and i hate the x factor, but loved ben elton's parody book 'Chart Throb'

2. Far too often.

3. English, French and spanish, (if HTML and XMl and SQL and BASIC and Visual Basic don't count).

4. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats a new pack of post it notes.

5. Primary and secondary.

6. Tried to, until i nearly killed Paggy.

7. I had a nickname of Jessie the Wig for a few years - i think this coveres 5 and 7.

8 Blush uncontrollabley. Like proper radio commedy

9. Book was better, battle scnese were the best bits of the film..

10. So many other questions you could have put in here...

*click*
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Sat 8 Mar 2008, 11:27, closed)

Possibly a high score.
1. Books and contemporary art, well any art really so long as it's not the local weekend painters' group.

2. Yep, don't we all?

3. English, French, German, Rubbish.

4. Paperchase, Staples and even WHSmiths are my guilty secrets - I'm not sure how many hardback notebooks I own...And don't even start me on how many pens...

*EDIT* I bought a Dyno labeller thingy today from WHSmiths! £30! That included an extra roll of plastic tape so I can label up all my cables! And how did I find out about this wonderful piece of kit? Someone else mentioned it in this very qotw!

5. Yes, until I got the ringleader kicked out of school(another qotw answer I think).

6. Yes, see 5.

7. Glasses, yes. Braces, no, never. Bad haircut - used to have the nickname Willie Rushton (this was when a small child in the 70s) and don't even make me think of my hair in the 80s - curly hair does not spike, no matter how much gel is slapped on. An anorak - I climb and now mountain bike - of course I have an anorak! And what's wrong with brown clothes, pinafores and tweed? I have a lovely brown tweed jacket I wear when I'm teaching and I couple it with a rather fetching pinafore!

8. I've never suffered from asthma but I do get hayfever. As to the others...um....I'm blushing just at the thought of admitting to it all!

9. Yes, it has resonances with the rise of fascism in 20th century Europe and it couldn't keep me interested long enough to finish either the books or the films.

10. Bugger.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 9 Mar 2008, 23:58, closed)

^
I knew that if ever there was a fellow stationery lover it would be you, chickenlady! Do you do that thing where you buy a beautiful, special notebook and intend to inscribe a prizewinning novel in it by means of a gold-nibbed fountain pen... and then you're too scared of writing something shite that you never actually use it and just go back to foolscap and/or a wordprocessor...
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 10:41, closed)

I adore stationery!
When I was studying for my Fine Art degree we did a Print Making course and it involved producing handmade books...I can't even begin to tell you what sort of ecstasy that put me into!

And yes, I do buy (mostly Moleskine)notebooks for the express purpose of penning the great British Novel. Or even just to record daily thoughts, snippets of information, quotes, pictures - a Commonplace book - but instead they languish in handbags (another obsession) or on shelves.

Although I do use Microsoft's One Note rather a lot as you can drop and drag directly from the internet onto the note page - fantastic!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 10 Mar 2008, 10:46, closed)

Stationery
Ah, la Poulet Madame's new Dyno labeller thingy...

Might explain why I woke up yesterday morning with little labels all over me saying things like "PJM's leg", "PJM's Elbow" and "PJM's Arse" (I always struggle with the latter two).

Why, oh why did she see fit to Dyno "Kick Me" on the back of my suit jacket?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 11 Mar 2008, 10:51, closed)

@PJM - haha
I forsee labels for everyone at the next b3ta QOTWer bash.

PJM, get your own back by some self-referential labelling; 'chickenlady's labeller' and then 'chickenlady's labeller's label' and so on, recursively, until everyone's head explodes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 11 Mar 2008, 11:56, closed)

There is nothing wrong with clearly labelling all parts
Every scientist will tell you that.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 11 Mar 2008, 17:01, closed)