Barley Scotch
I think most of my heroes are dead or imaginary so I've shamelessly pinched a story from a friend. I witnessed the events so can sort of call it mine.

Any of you who've seen Hayseed Dixie will know that the lead singer is, in fact, a haystack with legs. A huge giant of a man. I went with some friends to see them at The Brook in Southampton, and one of my friends, a wrong 'un by all accounts, was quivering in anticipation of seeing her hero.

I'm not sure how much thought she''d given to her outfit, but when she shimmied down to the front of the crowd, it wasn't long before her, 'Jesus sees when you touch yourself' T-shirt drew attention from the man himself. Quite a lot of attention.

It's worth adding here that said friend is teeny tiny, really little - a size 6/8. And the T-shirt fitted her pretty snugly. Barley Scotch is not teeny tiny, and is not a size 6/8. He might be a 68, but that's as close as it gets.

So anyhoo, after much good heated banter, and my friend sighing and swooning in delight, the show ended. And lo! The band came down to one side of the venue and chatted, posed for photos etc. But there was closeness planned. Barley Scotch wanted to try the T-shirt on...

I will never, ever forget the sight of the big man squeezing himself into my little friends tiny T-shirt, which she whipped off with not a thought for her dignity, so keen was she to be close to her hero.

It has to be said, she was thrilled, and shaking with the excitement of it all. She eventually left, looking like the happiest little pixie in the garden.

I think perhaps the scariest thing was when she whispered breathily to me as we left,

"I've got his sweat on me..."

I'd say she liked meeting her hero.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Fri 26 May 2006, 15:59, closed)