One day many years ago...
I thought it would be a laugh to make a candle in the shape of my cock, and send it to my ex girlfriend. Let her know what she was missing, that kind of caper. Also give her light for MANY hours (modest cough),

At that time I hadn't heard of dental algenate, so I set about making a mould out of plaster. How clever am I, I thought, because when the erection goes down it will shrink and I'll be left with a perfect cast, with no need to make a two-part split mould.

So, I set about it. I immediately hit a problem: plaster of paris takes about 20 minutes to cure, and gets pretty hot while it happens. That's rather distracting, and makes it difficult to maintain a hands-free erection -- despite the "gentleman's literature" I had carefully prepared for this very task.

But eventually the plaster went hard, with at least a semi remaining, so it was time to remove the cast. And here is where I get to the "I'm glad no-one saw me" bit: I found that I had effectively invented fibre-glass, with the pubes on my balls embedded in the plaster. So I'm standing in my room, naked and with about 2kg of rock swinging from my tenderest parts, firmly attached by the hairs.

After trying everything I could, I eventually realised that there was nothing for it but to rip the damn thing off by brute force. Thankfully my house-mates were all out, so didn't hear the agonised primal scream that accompanied this DIY velcro experience.

I ended up with a far-from-impressive candle - like a tea-light that's been left in a hot car - but on the plus side, a beautifully waxed scrotum.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:25, 17 replies)

Still
nice realism touch by keeping the pubes on there ;) *click*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:40, closed)

did you not think about cutting them?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:53, closed)

I was going to say
if there was ever a situation scissors were invented for...
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:55, closed)

Yeah
stab some scisors down the gap between the plaster & 'yourself', then thrash around with them trying to cut your pubes.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:59, closed)

Yes, naturally that was my first thought too
So after scouring the house for scissors - all the while swinging what felt like a bowling ball from my shrivelled man-parts - I feverishly snipped anything that I could reach. Unfortunately, scissors can't cut around corners, so I couldn't reach more than about 10% of the offending hairs.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 12:39, closed)

I'm surprised
That you didn't google "penis-shaped candles".

There's a shop in Manchester which sells them, apparently for the Hoodoo community to use in their rituals. They also sell wax clunges.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 12:41, closed)

Two problems with that:
Firstly, it was important that it was MY cock, not a random one.
And secondly, this was, ooh, about 1987...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 13:17, closed)

How can this be anything other than clickworthy?

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 13:32, closed)

Except
I remember hearing about some school that was sued by the parents of a girl that put her hand in plaster of paris to make a mould and got third degree burns from the heat generated. Very nasty indeed and NOT to be tried at home, not even after shaving.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 17:29, closed)

^ this
google for pictures of her hands if you're not squeamish

*shudders*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 19:08, closed)

^ This
Was just about to call bullshit too. 60 degrees is not fun on bare skin...
(Nightviolet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 19:36, closed)

Fourth degree I think is the term if it destroys underlying structures.

She was left with basically stumps with a partially working finger or two.
(speedevil, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 9:51, closed)

Well, all I can say is:
it got hot, but not too hot - certainly not painful. Like bath hot, no more.

I think the heat depends on the speed of the curing reaction, and there are different types of plaster. Fast-setting plaster probably gets hotter, I'm guessing? This was slower setting (slower than medical plaster), so maybe that helped.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd probably have done a test-run which didn't involve my cock. On the other hand, it starts cold, so if it began to heat up, I'd have pulled out like a catholic priest in a parishoner!

Which begs the question, why the festering wank didn't the schoolgirl whip her hand out? Or did she plunge it into already-curing plaster?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 10:43, closed)

Yes, don't try this at home, folks
You get MUCH better results with Dental Algenate, which doesn't heat up at all, and sets very quickly.

Then use the algenate mould to cast liquid silicone, and you've got a fine dildo (I call mine Number Two), which is far more useful than a candle.

You can do your partner at both ends simultaneously, with your own cock!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 10:48, closed)

There's really nothing quite like ...
a waxed scrotum. You should try it sometime.

/puts pinkie in mouth
(Que?, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:42, closed)

does your father accuse chestnuts of being lazy?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:51, closed)

Actually I agree
It was almost worth the eye-watering agony.

Almost, but not quite.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 10:44, closed)